SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for January 11, 2014 Posted: 10 Jan 2014 10:30 AM PST New Courses for Men & Women Training courses are now available for women on the following subjects: Topic 1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before. Topic 2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits. Topic 3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits. Topic 4. Bathroom Etiquette: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too. Topic 5. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First. Topic 6. Communication Skills II: Getting What you Want Without Nagging. Topic 7. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire. Topic 8. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up. Topic 9. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have. Topic 10. Oil and Petrol: Your Car Needs Both. New Evening classes for men. Starting this month! All Are Welcome! Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each. Topic 1. How to fill ice-cube trays. Step by step with slide presentation. Topic 2. Toilet paper rolls: Do they grow on the holders? Round-table discussion. Topic 3. Differences between the laundry basket and the floor. Pictures and explanatory graphics. Topic 4. Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open forum. Topic 5. Health watch: Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. Graphics and audio tape. Topic 6. Real men ask for directions when lost. Real-life testimonials. Topic 7. Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks? Driving simulation. Topic 8. Learning to live: Basic differences between mother and wife. Online class and role playing. Topic 9. How to be the ideal shopping companion. Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques. Topic 10. How to fight cerebral atrophy: Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going to be late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions. More Jokes .. बंता का उधार! संता और बंता एक बैंक में नौकरी करते थे एक दिन उस बैंक में बैंक लूटने वाले घुस गए, उन्होंने पूरा बैंक लुट लिया और फिर सभी कर्मचारियों को दीवार के साथ खड़े होने को कहा, फिर उनसे उनके पर्स घड़ियाँ और कीमती चीजें छिनने लगे। संता बंता भी उसी लाइन में खड़े थे तभी संता ने बंता के हाथों में कुछ पकड़ाया, बंता ने फुसफुसाते पूछ लिया कि,"ये क्या है?" तो संता ने जवाब दिया कि,"वो 1000 रूपए है जो मैंने तुमसे उधार लिए थे।" More Hindi Jokes .. Picture SMS हैप्पी लोहड़ी देखा हमारी यारी; 2 दिन पहले ही बाज़ी मारी; इसे कहते हैं होशियारी; अब विश करने की आपकी बारी। लोहड़ी की शुभकामनाएं! फिर आ गई भंगड़े की बारी; लोहड़ी मनाने की करो तैयारी; आग के पास सब आओ; सुंदर-मुंदरिये जोर से गाओ; लोहड़ी की शुभकामनाएं! संता: मेरे पड़ोसी का बच्चा गुम हो गया। बंता: फिर क्या किया? संता: मैंने कहा गूगल पर सर्च कर लो, मिल जाए तो डाउनलोड कर लेना! More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS May your success soar high like a kite; your sorrows burn in a bonfire; you experience a very sweet life like Reoris; and may God always protect you in a shell like peanuts! Happy Lohri! Kaash Jyaada Par Chalegi Thodi; Saath Jab Ho ek Sunder si Chorri; Mil Baant Khayein Gud ki Reori; Aur Dhoom Se Manayein Hum Sab Lohri! Happy Lohri! Ladkiyon ki Aadhi Zindagi, husband ki 'Talash' mein... aur Baaki ki Aadhi, Husband ki 'Talaashi' mein guzar jaati hai! Hindi SMS हैप्पी लोहड़ी देखा हमारी यारी; 2 दिन पहले ही बाज़ी मारी; इसे कहते हैं होशियारी; अब विश करने की आपकी बारी। लोहड़ी की शुभकामनाएं! फिर आ गई भंगड़े की बारी; लोहड़ी मनाने की करो तैयारी; आग के पास सब आओ; सुंदर-मुंदरिये जोर से गाओ; लोहड़ी की शुभकामनाएं! पत्नी: सुनो जी, जिस पंडित ने हमारी शादी करवाई थी वो गुज़र गए। पति: सब करनी का फ़ल है, पापों का अंजाम भुगतना तो पड़ेगा ही। Trivia A monkey was tried and convicted for the crime of smoking. It happened back in 1924 in South Bend, Indiana. The strict laws of the state meant that smoking was illegal, no questions... even if you were a monkey. Having been seen smoking, the monkey was taken to court and tried for the crime. The monkey was found guilty and ordered to pay a fine of $25 as well as costs for the trial. 'Hangry' is an actual word. It means hungry and angry especially when the anger is induced by the hunger. Quotes Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity. A wise lover values not so much the gift of the lover as the love of the giver. Happiness and the absurd are two sons of the same earth. They are inseparable.

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