| SantaBanta Universal Humour for July 11, 2014 Posted: 10 Jul 2014 11:30 AM PDT | |  | | | | A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no corpse had been found. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, decided to try a trick.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom!"
He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked, eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.
Finally, the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."
With that, the jury retired to deliberate. But after only a few minutes, they came back and pronounced a verdict of guilty.
"But how?" the lawyer asked. "You must have had some doubt. I saw all of you stare at the door."
"Oh, yes," the jury foreman replied. "We all looked - but your client." | | बुजुर्ग पति-पत्नी एक साथ गुज़र गए। जब ऊपर पहुँचे तो चित्रगुप्त ने बहीखाता देख कर एक दूत से कहा, "इन्हें स्वर्ग में ले जाओ।"
दूत उन्हें स्वर्ग में ले गया। एक आलीशान बंगले में ले जाकर बोला, "आप दोनों यहां रहेंगे। यहां हर तरह का आराम है। हर तरह की सुविधा उपलब्ध है। नौकर-चाकर हमेशा आपकी सेवा में रहेंगे। और हां, आप जो भी जब भी खाना पीना चाहें, आपको मिलेगा।"
बुजुर्ग ने पूछा, "अगर हम बीमार हो गए तो डॉक्टर कहां मिलेगा?"
दूत ने बताया, "स्वर्ग में कभी कोई बीमार नहीं होता।"
बुजुर्ग लंबी सांस छोड़ते हुए पत्नी से बोला, "अगर हम लोग अपने डॉक्टर की बात न मान कर, फल-सब्जियों की बजाय, अपनी मनमर्जी की चीजें खाते पीते, तो कई साल पहले यहां पहुंच जाते।" | | | | | | Banta: What is your chief worry in life?
Santa: Money.
Banta: Oh! I don't think you have any.
Santa: Yes. That's the worry! | | | | | | | Bread - to feed our friendship
Salt - to keep it true
Water - that's for welcome
Wine - to drink to you!
| | | | | | | Why is King Solomon considered the wisest man in the world?
Because he had so many wives to advise him! | | | | | May bad fortune follow you all your days...
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and never catch up with you! | | | | Banta: What is your chief worry in life?
Santa: Money.
Banta: Oh! I don't think you have any.
Santa: Yes. That's the worry! | | | | Bread - to feed our friendship
Salt - to keep it true
Water - that's for welcome
Wine - to drink to you!
| | | | पप्पू: मुझे लगता है हमरी टीचर पागल हो गयी है।
गर्लफ्रेंड: क्यों, तुम्हें ऐसा क्यों लगता है?
पप्पू: क्योंकि वो हमेशा 'बस क्लास यह करो, क्लास वो करो' कहती रहती है पर हमारे स्कूल में तो क्लास नाम का कोई है ही नहीं। | | | | गुरु गोविंद दोउ खडे काके लागूँ पाँय;
बलिहारी गुरु आपने गोविंद दियो बताय।
गुरु पूर्णिमा की शुभ कामनायें | | | | तुम हमारे दिल के करीब हो;
हम से दूर होकर भी अज़ीज़ हो;
दुआओं में याद कर लेना हमें भी कभी;
शायद आपकी दुआ में हमारा नसीब हो।
रमज़ान मुबारक़! | | | | Saying thank you is more than good manners. It is good spirituality. | | | | Opportunity is often difficult to recognize; we usually expect it to beckon us with beepers and billboards. | | | | The dream begins with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometimes poking you with a sharp stick called "truth." | | | |
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