SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for July 3, 2014 Posted: 02 Jul 2014 11:30 AM PDT A Night Out! An Irishman's been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he decides to crawl the 4 miles home and when he arrives at the door he stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. "So, you've been out drinking again!!" "What makes you say that?" He asks as he puts on an innocent look. "The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again." More Jokes .. Picture SMS The fastest red card in the FIFA World Cup history was Uruguay's Jose Baptista who lasted a full 56 seconds in 1986 against Scotland before being sent off. So far, only 2 World Cup finals have been decided on penalties. Brazil beat Italy in 1994; and Italy beat France in 2006. मीरी-पीरी के मालिक; बंदी छोड़ महाराज गुरु हरगोबिंद साहिब जी के प्रकाश पुरब की बधाई। More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS Love is an illusion - it's a highly dependency disorder of weak-hearted people. People with strong hearts believe in... . . . . . . FLIRTING! BACHELOR - A man who missed the opportunity of making some woman miserable! Dedicated to another Petrol Price Hike: The days are not too far, when our take home salary won't be enough to take us home! Hindi SMS यदि पुरुष शादी के बाद भी वैसा ही व्यवहार करें जैसा वे शादी से पहले करते हैं, तो दुनिया में होने वाले तलाकों की संख्या आधी रह जाये। दूसरी तरफ . . . . . . . यदि महिलायें शादी के पहले से ही वैसे ही व्यवहार करें जैसा वे शादी के बाद करतीं हैं, तो दुनिया में होने वाली शादियों की संख्या भी आधी रह जाए। 2 शब्द जो आपकी दोस्ती गहरी कर दे; 2 शब्द जो रूठो को मना दे; 2 शब्द जो नए दोस्त बनाएं . . . . . . . . "दारु पीयेगा'? सुबह-सुबह बारिश होने पर कौन क्या सोचता है? प्रेमी: पक्का आज डेट और भी रोमांटिक हो जायेगी। बच्चा: पक्का आज स्कूल से छुट्टी मिल जायेगी। पति: पक्का आज पकोड़े और चाय हो जायेगी। पत्नी: पक्का आज कामवाली बाई नहीं आयेगी और मेरी बैंड बज जायेगी। Trivia The fastest red card in the FIFA World Cup history was Uruguay's Jose Baptista who lasted a full 56 seconds in 1986 against Scotland before being sent off. So far, only 2 World Cup finals have been decided on penalties. Brazil beat Italy in 1994; and Italy beat France in 2006. Pele is the most successful FIFA World Cup player, winning the title 3 different times while playing for Brazil. Quotes The difference between try and triumph is a little umph. He is like a man using a candle to look for the Sun.

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