SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for May 17, 2014 Posted: 16 May 2014 11:30 AM PDT Election Results 2014 - Jokes & Trolls Here are the funniest jokes on the election results, from the humorists of Twitter. Alia Bhatt: Score itni jaldi-jaldi badh raha hai, Maxwell BJP mein hai kya? There is a great Rahul Gandhi wave in the country... Everyone is waving him good bye. Rahul Gandhi to Sonia: Accha, Ab main khelne jaoon? BREAKING Performance of Himesh's 'The Xpose' better than Congress & AAP. Now Arvindkejriwal says that Aam Janata has also become corrupt!!! Mr Kejriwal, Ramleela maidan is waiting for you to held DHARNA against Public for the mandate. You know your country is changing when the youth is more excited about 16th may rather than 14th feb !!! Now you know what a Gujarati can do for a Visa. Kapil Sharma fired. Re-branded show to be launched - Comedy Nights with Rahul. Tide and Rin have competition from the Congress. Itni zabardast dhulai hui hain. Why was Rahul Gandhi smiling even in defeat? Coz every kid is happy when exams get over and they can go on a vacation. Kejriwal ka naya aarop: Desh ki janta bhi Modi se mili hui hai. Australia is now at #2 in whitewashing teams. #1 is BJP. Now mothers will reprimand their kids in the following way. Modi ban na hai na? Phir Rahul wali harkat kyu ki? Ab Manmohan ban ke kyu khada hai? Bol ya toh Kejriwal ki tarah thappad khayega ? Finally, the bizarre is over and here goes the awards for different category. Best Actor: Arvind Kejriwal. Best Debut child actor: Rahul Gandhi. Best female actor in supporting role- Mamta Banerjee. Best female actor in negative role- Sonia Gandhi. Best actor in Romantic role- Digvijay Singh. Life time achievement award-Lal Krishna Advani. Movie of the year-Abki baar Modi Sarkar. Its heard that Anurag Basu has approached Manmohan Singh for "Barfi 2" More Jokes .. सबसे बड़ा दुःख! डॉक्टरः मुझे स्वर्ग जाने दो, मैंने धरती पर बहुतों का इलाज किया है। चौकीदारः चलो नर्क जाओ, वहीं सबका इलाज करना। वकीलः मुझे स्वर्ग जाने दो, मैंने लोगों को इंसाफ दिलाया है। चौकीदारः जाकर नर्क में झगड़ों का निपटारा करो। एक आदमीः भाई मैं शादीशुदा हूं, जहाँ कहोगे रह लूंगा। चौकीदार (आंसू पोंछते हुए): पगले रुलाएगा क्या? चल जा स्वर्ग में कुछ दिन चैन से रह। यह तो हद ही हो गयी! गर्लफ्रेंड अपने कंजूस बॉयफ्रेंड से: कल रात मैंने तुम्हें सपने में देखा। बॉयफ्रेंड: अच्छा! क्या सपना देखा? गर्लफ्रेंड: तुम एक बस में सफर कर रहे थे और अचानक बस ने अपना कंट्रोल खो दिया और वह नदी में जा गिरी। हर कोई अपनी ज़िंदगी बचाने के लिए तैर रहा था, पर तुम किसी को ढूंढ रहे थे...। बॉयफ्रेंड: मैं तुम्हें ढूंढ रहा था... है ना? गर्लफ्रेंड: नहीं। तुम चिल्ला रहे थे, "अरे कंडक्टर किधर गया? 2 रुपए लेने थे मैंने वापिस।" More Hindi Jokes .. Picture SMS Good news for Congress for winning under 50 seats. They can now . . . . . make a Whatsapp group without leaving any Lok Sabha MP out! Arnab Goswami: BJP got 289. Alia Bhat: In how many overs? Weekdays are for working and weekends are for living. Have a nice weekend, full of life! More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS Good news for Congress for winning under 50 seats. They can now . . . . . make a Whatsapp group without leaving any Lok Sabha MP out! General elections 2014: India is a unique nation. Earlier it didn't have government; And now it doesn't have opposition! IPL 7: Vijay Mallya: Yuvraj, why didn't you perform better earlier also? Yuvraj: It's not my fault. I performed well only after your cheque cleared! Hindi SMS नरेन्द्र मोदी की जीत ने साबित कर दिया है की आदमी तब ही सफल होता है... जब . . . . . माँ पास हो और बीवी दूर हो। मोदी: चल मज़े लेते हैं। अमित शाह: कैसे? मोदी ने मायावती को फ़ोन लगाया और पूछा, "समर्थन दोगी कि नहीं?" BSP ने शून्य सीट ली: "डिस्कवरी चैनल" वालों ने भारत में अपनी टीम भेजी है। वो यह जानना चाहते हैं कि 'हाथी' ने पहली बार कैसे 'अण्डा' दिया है! Quotes If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you. Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment. The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering.

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