SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes


SantaBanta Universal Humour for May 22, 2014

Posted: 21 May 2014 11:30 AM PDT

Loyalty Tests

Test 1
Wife buys 12 underwears of same colour for her husband...
Hubby: Why same colour sweetheart. people will think I never change my underwear.
Wife: Which people???
Total silence...

Test 2
A couple sees a hot girl.
Wife: So big, aren't they?
Husband: Yes, they are!!!
Wife: Are they Artificial?
Husband: Hmmmm.... I think natural.
Wife: Ear-rings and Natural ???
Total Silence...

And the best one... Test 3:
Men will always be Men: Once a group of men decided to go for Tirth Yatra. Their guide explained to them that they might see some ladies bathing in open and they should not get distracted at all. When they see anything like that, they should just say HARI OM and move on.
Next day they started the yatra and one of the men in the group said: "HARI OM" and rest of them said: "KIDHAR HAI, KIDHAR HAI!"

गधे की औलाद!

एक बार पप्पू एक अनजान नंबर से संता को कॉल करता।

संता: हेल्लो।

पप्पू: उल्लो, पुल्लो, कुल्लो।

संता: कौन है बे?

पप्पू: एक इंसान।

संता: वो तो पता है, नाम बोल?

पप्पू: मैं एक गंदा बच्चा हूँ।

संता: तेरी तो ऐसी की तैसी, कहाँ रहता है तू?

पप्पू: पृथ्वी पर।

संता: वो तो पता है, फोन क्यों किया?

पप्पू: तुझे परेशान करने के लिए।

संता: रुक कम्बखत, अपने बाप को बुला, गधे की औलाद।

पप्पू: हेल्लो पापा, मैं पप्पू।

स्वर्ग नर्क!

एक बार संता और बंता समुद्र किनारे सैर कर रहे होते हैं, कि तभी अचानक बंता के दिमाग में एक सवाल आता है तो वह संता से पूछता है, "यार संता एक बात बता।"

संता: हाँ बोल।

बंता: जब हर आदमी को शादी करने के नुक्सान पता होते हैं, तो फिर भी वो शादी क्यों करता है?

संता: अरे वो इस लिए कि मरने के बाद अगर उसकी आत्मा स्वर्ग जाए तो वो अच्छा महसूस करे और अगर नर्क जाए तो उसे घर जैसा महसूस हो।

Picture SMS

Strange marital problems:<br />  Banta: My wife can cook but won't.<br />  Santa. You're lucky. My wife can't cook but does!

Strange marital problems:
Banta: My wife can cook but won't.
Santa. You're lucky. My wife can't cook but does!

Uruguay (1930), Italy (1934), England (1966),  West Germany (1974), Argentina (1978) and France (1998) are the countries to win the FIFA World Cup Finals as host countries!

Uruguay (1930), Italy (1934), England (1966), West Germany (1974), Argentina (1978) and France (1998) are the countries to win the FIFA World Cup Finals as host countries!

Dear TV Channels,<br />  Now that the elections are over, can you please tell me when Ranbir and Katrina are getting married?<br />  Thanks!

Dear TV Channels,
Now that the elections are over, can you please tell me when Ranbir and Katrina are getting married?
Thanks!

Clean SMS

Buhut Ho Gayi Kulfi Yaar;
Ab ki Baar...
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Chocobar!
Modi Sarkaar Ban Chuki, Abb Garmi se Bachne ka Fikar Karo!

Strange marital problems:
Banta: My wife can cook but won't.
Santa. You're lucky. My wife can't cook but does!

Dear TV Channels,
Now that the elections are over, can you please tell me when Ranbir and Katrina are getting married?
Thanks!

Hindi SMS

ये मोदी जी भी कैसे आदमी है अभी तक भी शपथ नहीं ले रहे।
अगर केजरीवाल जी जीत जाते तो अब तक इस्तीफा देकर निकल गए होते।

बंटी: यार, तुमने स्कूल आना क्यों छोड़ दिया?
पप्पू : मेरे पापा कह रहे थे के एक जगह बार-बार जाने से इज्ज़त कम हो जाती है। इसीलिए।

ज्योतिषी(एक युवक से): तुम्हारे भाग्य में सात लड़कियां लिखी हैं।
युवक खुशी से उछलकर बोला: अरे वाह...फिर तो बहुत मजा आएगा।
ज्योतिषी: ज्यादा खुश मत हो, उसमें एक बीवी और छ: तुम्हारी बेटियां होंगी।

Trivia

Uruguay (1930), Italy (1934), England (1966), West Germany (1974), Argentina (1978) and France (1998) are the countries to win the FIFA World Cup Finals as host countries!

The last time any South American country hosted the FIFA World Cup was Argentina in 1978 and it won the World Cup Finals defeating Netherlands 3-1 in extra time.

A dragonfly has a lifespan of about 24 hours.

Quotes

I ain't the the drama queen anymore. Arvind Kejriwal takes the cake.

The goal of my life is to score goals with my tongue in your lips.

Make no small plans for they have no power to stir the soul.

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