| SantaBanta Universal Humour for September 30, 2014 Posted: 29 Sep 2014 11:30 AM PDT | | | Finally it`s revealed that why some people have a huge contact list... Checkout and tell what`s your truth. | | | | | |  | | | | Arnab Goswami might probably be the only guy in this world to fight with his wife & win.
If we could place a mini turbine inside Arnab Goswami's throat, the resultant electricity can power all the Times group building.
Arnab Goswami is inversly proportional to Manmohan Singh.
Arnaan Goswami's website says:
Page Not Found!
Now thats the question. The nation wants to know: Where the page is?
If you find Arnab Goswami's pic with his mouth closed, then that camera has a very good shutter speed.
Arnab Goswami is fluent in English & weak in grammer because he does not use full stop or comma.
Imagine playing dumb sharads with Arnab Goswami.
From the moon you can see the great wall of china and hear Arnab Goswami shouting "The nation wants to know."
Proposed airport near Times Now studio cancelled as noise from newshour could weaken the structure and intercept signals.
Arnab Goswami insures his throat & neck for 100 crores.
When Arnab Goswami says "I will speak now", everyone looks puzzled, wondering who was speaking till now.
Whats the similarity between Arnab Goswami & Google?
Both interrupt you before you complete the sentence.
Arnab decided to keep silent on Feb 30th. That day would be observed as world peace day.
If Arnab & Dolly Bindra get married, their kid would be the most advanced sound system ever built on this planet. | | यह एक जग प्रसिद्ध सच है कि सभी बहुओं को अपनी सास से परेशानी रहती है।
ऐसे ही एक दिन सभी बहुएं इकट्ठी हुई और उन्होंने फैसला किया कि, वे सब अपनी सास से माफ़ी मांगेगी और कहेंगी, उन्होंने जो भी किया उनसे वो गलती से हुआ।
एक हफ्ते बाद सभी बहुओं ने पिकनिक जाने का कार्यक्रम बनाया, जिसमें पूरे परिवार के साथ अपनी अपनी सास को भी ले गयी।
सारी सास एक ही बस में थी जो सबसे आगे चली थी रास्ते में उनकी बस का एक्सिडेंट हो गया।
और सभी सास मर गयी, सारी बहुएं जोर-जोर से बिलख-बिलख कर रो रही थी।
पर एक बहु को शायद कुछ ज्यादा ही दुःख हुआ वो जमीन पर हाथ पटक पटक कर रो रही थी। सभी उसे सांत्वना देकर कह रहे थे, कम से कम तुम्हारी सास बिना किसी चिंता के मरी है। तुम्हारा उससे कोई झगड़ा नहीं था पर वो अभी भी जोर-जोर से चिल्ला रही थी।
जब वो बार-बार बोलने पर चुप नहीं हो रही थी तो एक औरत ने उसे पूछा, "तुम इतना क्यों चिल्ला रही हो, क्या तुम्हारी सास ज्यादा खास थी?"
उस औरत ने अपने आप को थोड़ा संभाला और सिसकते हुए कहा, "नहीं, उनसे बस छूट गयी है।" | | | | | | Jeeto (as husband is leaving): Dear, will you remember to bring home something for the rats this evening?
Santa: Something for the rats? Certainly not! If the rats can't eat what we have in the house, let them leave! | | | | | | | Santa: I used to think drinking was bad for me.
Banta: So what did you do for it?
Santa: I gave up thinking! | | | | | | | May you celebrate all the 6 days of Durgaotsav -
Mahalaya
Shashthi
Maha Saptami
Maha Ashtami
Maha Nabami
Vijayadashami
with reverence, purity and spirit!
Happy Durga Puja! | | | | | Jeeto (as husband is leaving): Dear, will you remember to bring home something for the rats this evening?
Santa: Something for the rats? Certainly not! If the rats can't eat what we have in the house, let them leave! | | | | The man who brags, "I run things in my house," usually refers to the lawn mower, washing machine, vacuum sweeper, baby carriage and the errands! | | | | Santa: I used to think drinking was bad for me.
Banta: So what did you do for it?
Santa: I gave up thinking! | | | | जब से नवरात्रि शुरू हुए हैं, बड़ी बेचैनी हो रही है, मन भी विचलित है...
आज डॉक्टर को दिखाया तो बोले,
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"खून मे Alcohol की भारी कमी आ गयी है।"
शुभ नवरात्रि! | | | | पठान ठेले वाले से खाने का सामान पैक करवा रहा था।
ठेले वाला: खान साहब, यहीं खा लो।
पठान: नहीं यार घर जाकर खाऊंगा, डॉक्टर ने कुछ भी बाहर खाने को मना किया है। | | | | दांतों की हिफाजत के तीन तरीके:
1. दिन में दो बार ब्रश करें
2. मीठा खाने के बाद कुल्ला करें
तीसरा और सबसे आवश्यक
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बीवी के साथ मुँह संभाल कर बात करें। | | | | The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. | | | | Virtue does not come from wealth, but. . . wealth, and every other good thing which men have. . . comes from virtue. | | | | Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. | | | |
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