SantaBanta Universal Humour for December 25, 2013 Posted: 24 Dec 2013 10:30 AM PST The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap.
Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, "What do you want for Christmas?"
"Something for my mother, please." said the young lady.
"Something for your mother? Well, that's very thoughtful of you,'' smiled Santa. "What do you want me to bring her? "
Without blinking she replied, "A son-in-law!" | | | | | | | | Bechaara shaadi shuda aadmi dukhi bhi nahi ho sakta...
Wife: I love you baby. Husband (softly): I love you too. Wife: Upset kyun lag rahe ho...??? Husband: Bas thoda mood off tha. Wife: Doston ke saath to bade khush rehte ho, aur mere saath hi drame. Husband (pyar se): Aisa kuch nahi jaanu, tabiyat thodi theek nahi hai. Wife: Haan, agar abhi koi dost phone kare to 2 sec mein tabiyat theek ho jayegi. Husband: Dost kahan se aa gaye, mera mood thoda upset hai bas. Wife: Mere saath hi ye sab hota hai, friends ke saath enjoy karte ho, badi has has ke pictures click karwate ho. Ya koi aur ladki pasand aa gayi..?? Husband (aur jyada pyar se): Arrey, kahan se kahan baat le jaa rahi ho? Wife: Aaj sab clear hoga !! Husband: Kya clear karna hai jaanu, aisa kya ho gaya?? Wife (khud confused): Jab tum khud clear nahi, tumhe kuch pata nahi to main kya bolun..!! Husband (trying to act smart): Tumhe hua kya hai ?? Kis baat pe upset ho ?? Batao!! Wife: Tumhari sangat hi kharab hai !! Husband: Mere saath to tum ho!! Wife: Ab bohut ho gaya, ab aur nahi!! Husband (fully crashed): Yeh toh bata do ki hua kya hai ? Wife: Hum ab saath nahi reh sakte? Husband: Ye baat kahan se aayi? Wife: I want Divorce. Husband: Hmmmm OK !! Wife (gone crazy): Haan, yehi chahte ho tum to, phir tum jo marzi kar sako. Husband: Arrey tumne khudne bola abhi, maine kya galat kaha?? Wife: Itni problem thi to bola kyun nahi, main khud bina bole chali jaati tumhari life se. Husband (apne baal pakad kar): Mujhe meri galti toh bata do. Wife: Waqt aane pe pata chalegi tumhe apne aap, jab main chali jaungi. Husband: Achcha, to main wait karta hoon sahi waqt ka. Wife: Tum serious kab hoge?? Husband: Ab kya hospital mein admit ho jaun, serious hone ke liye? Wife: Go to hell!!!
AFTER 3 HOURS. Wife: Tumhe pata hai na, main tumhare bina nahi reh sakti jaanu, sorry !!! I love you my baby. Husband (Sab bhool kar): Achcha, Really!!! I love you tooo... Wife: Upset kyun lag rahe ho ?............... !!! | | एक बैंक बिल्कुल जेल के सामने था एक दिन बैंक के सेफ का लॉक नही खुल रहा था बैंक वालों ने हर तरह कोशिश की मैकनिक बुलाये पर फिर भी वे सेफ का लॉक नही खोल पाए।
तब बैंक मैनेजर ने जेल में जाकर कैदियों से मदद मांगी एक कैदी सेफ का लॉक खोलने के लिए तैयार हो गया।
उसे पुलिस सुरक्षा में बाहर लाया गया और उसने थोड़ी ही देर में बिना किसी तोड़फोड़ के सेफ खोल दिया।
बैंक मैनेजर उसके उस कारनामे से बहुत खुश हुआ।
मैनेजर ने सेफ खोलने वाले कैदी से कहा, "मैं आपसे बहुत खुश हूँ, आपने बिना किसी क्षति के सेफ खोल दिया आप बताईये की इस काम के लिए हम आपको कितने रूपए दें।"
सेफ खोलने वाले कैदी ने कहा, "पिछली बार तो जब मैंने ऐसा ही एक सेफ खोला था तो मुझे 10 लाख रूपए मिले थे तभी तो मैं यहाँ हूँ।" | | | | | May Santa Claus shower the bounties of love, laughter, peace and happiness on you at all times! Merry Christmas! | | | | | | May your life be colourful, magnificent, shimmering and joyful - as the magic of Christmas spreads on you! Merry Christmas! | | | | | | Pappu: I'm through with that girl. Bunty: Oh, why? Pappu: She asked me if I danced. Bunty: Well, what's wrong with that? Pappu: I was dancing with her when she asked me! | | | | | May Santa Claus shower the bounties of love, laughter, peace and happiness on you at all times! Merry Christmas! | | | | May your life be colourful, magnificent, shimmering and joyful - as the magic of Christmas spreads on you! Merry Christmas! | | | | Pappu: I'm through with that girl. Bunty: Oh, why? Pappu: She asked me if I danced. Bunty: Well, what's wrong with that? Pappu: I was dancing with her when she asked me! | | | | ना कार्ड भेज रहा हूँ; ना कोई फूल भेज रहा हूँ; सिर्फ सच्चे दिल से; आपको मैं क्रिसमस मुबारक हो कह रहा हूँ। बड़े दिन की हार्दिक शुभकामनाएं! | | | | चाँद ने अपनी चांदनी बिखेरी है; और तारों ने आसमान को सजाया है; लेकर तोहफ़ा अमन और प्यार का; देखो स्वर्ग से कोई फरिश्ता आया है। बड़े दिन की हार्दिक शुभकामनाएं! | | | | 32 सीटों वाली भाजपा केवल "चार" विधायकों का इंतजाम नहीं कर पायी| . . . . और . . . 8 सीटों वाली कांग्रेस ने 28 विधायकों का इंतजाम कर लिया ! | | | | Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money. | | | | Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen. | | | | Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. | | | |