SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for January 28, 2014 Posted: 27 Jan 2014 10:30 AM PST RahulSpeaksToArnab Creates Buzz Rahul - Arnab Interview at Times Now trending on FB and Twiiter... Rahul and Arnab had well rehearsed the interview. The only problem was Arnab changed the sequence of questions. This is like watching 2 different shows. Arnab's questions and Rahul's answers. This show should be re-recorded with the Filmfare awards laughter track. Rahul Gandhi has now said 'empowering women' more number of times than total women population of the country. Kapil Sharma is going to sue Rahul Gandhi for being a threat to his career as a comedian. Q: Price Rise... A: Empower women. Q: 2G A: Empower women. He needs to get married soon to understand about empowered women." Update: Narendra Modi leading 1-0 after self goal by Rahul Gandhi. After Rahul's Interview with Arnab, Kapil Sharma loses his job, from next weekend colors tv will telecast, "ROFL nights with Rahul" If you missed, Rahul Gandhi interview with Arnab will be repeated on Pogo Channel !!! Don't worry if you had a bad day, remember Rahul Gandhi had a so called interview with Arnab! After RG's interview with interview, Congress realised why MMS remains quiet! The similarly between Rahul Gandhi and Namo is that both inspire you to vote for the opposition! A special show of Comedy with Kapil telecast on Times Now with special guest being RG! Moral Victory for Congress: Rahul Gandhi's interview beat the TRP of NaMo's event at Mumbai. ~ Omar Abddullah on Twitter Maybe the idea was to counter Modi Wave with Sympathy Wave for Rahul Gandhi. Rahul Gandhi was behaving like Gutthi. Women-Party Party-Empowerment Empowerment-Youth Youth-RTI System-Women Three little Indian boys in the election zoo; One gave an interview and then there were two. We live in a country where we take our comedians seriously and our politicians as a joke. More Jokes .. Picture SMS Santa: Dude, you were so drunk last night at the party. Banta: No I wasn't. Santa: O ya, you called a taxi to take you home. Banta: I didn't want to get a ticket for being drunk and driving. Santa: The party was at your house! Word Riddle: There is a 7 letter word in the English language in which : The first two letters signify a man; The first three signify a woman; The first four signify a talented man; And the whole word represents a talented woman. What is the word? Dear Cupid, Valentine's day is around. This time, please strike us together! More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS Inspired by "Jai Ho", I decided to do something good. Gathering my courage, I advised 3 people . .. ... .... to avoid watching it! Santa: Dude, you were so drunk last night at the party. Banta: No I wasn't. Santa: O ya, you called a taxi to take you home. Banta: I didn't want to get a ticket for being drunk and driving. Santa: The party was at your house! Wife: Don't you have simple manners. I have been speaking for hours and you keep on yawning. Husband: I'm not yawning... I'm simply trying to say something! Hindi SMS पिंकी कुर्ती सिलवाने दर्ज़ी के पास गयी और बोली, "कुर्ती की बाज़ू नेट वाली बनाना।" दर्ज़ी: 2G या 3G ? टीचर: किसी ऐसी जगह का नाम बताओ जहाँ बहुत सारे लोग हों, फिर भी आप अकेला महसूस करते हो? पप्पू: परीक्षा भवन! वक़्त की क़दर उस शख्स से पूछो, जो बाथरूम के बाहर खड़ा हो और उसे लूस मोशन(Loose Motion) हो, और . .. ... अंदर वाले को 'क़ब्ज़'! Quotes I invented my life by taking for granted that everything I did not like would have an opposite, which I would like. The most important decision you make is to be in a good mood. Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.

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SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for January 27, 2014 Posted: 26 Jan 2014 10:30 AM PST Big Decision! One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great checkup. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?" "Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy." "That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?" "Yeah, and they're in favor 15 to 2." More Jokes .. Picture SMS Dear Lazy Employees, You bloody don't like to work at all and then you blame me. Sincerely, Monday A house has 4 walls. All of the walls are facing south, and a bear is circling the house. What color is the bear? The most famous adventure sport of India is... . .. ... .... ..... ARRANGED MARRIAGE! More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS Jeeto: Be careful with that gun. You just missed shooting me. Santa: Did I? I am very sorry! Jeeto to her son, "Now, Pappu, you can't have the hammer to play with. You'll hit your fingers." Pappu: No, I won't, Mom. Bunty is going to hold the nails! Dear Lazy Employees, You bloody don't like to work at all and then you blame me. Sincerely, Monday Hindi SMS सालो काम तुमसे होता नहीं और दोष मुझे देते हो। . .. ... .... ..... आपका, सोमवार टीचर: एक दिन ऐसा आएगा, जब पृथ्वी पर पानी नहीं रहेगा, सब जीव नष्ट हो जाएंगे, पृथ्वी तबाह हो जाएगी। पिंकी: मैडम जी, उस दिन ट्यूशन आना है? उफ़ सर्दी! . .. ... .... ..... जब ऊपर लिखा है कि सर्दी है, तो नीचे कौन सा हीटर लगा है जो देख रहे हो! Trivia A tiger's tongue is rough enough to like the paint off of a building. Quotes Success teaches us nothing; only failure teaches. My definition of poor are those who need too much. Because those who need too much are never satisfied. You will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory.

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SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for January 26, 2014 Posted: 25 Jan 2014 10:30 AM PST My Computer!!! Help-desk guy speaking to a lady user... Help-desk: Mam, please double click on 'My Computer'. Lady: I can't see your computer. Help-desk: No... Click on 'My Computer' on your computer. Lady: How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer ? Help-desk: There is an icon labelled 'My Computer' on your computer... double click on it. Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ? The help-desk boy put down the phone. Family's Introduction A man fron UP is introducing his family: 1. Yeh hai meri biwi..... Google Raani... Ek sawal poocho toh 10 jawab deti hai...!!! 2. Yeh hai mera beta.... Facebook Kumar... Ghar ki baat sare colony tak pahuchata hai...!!! 3. Yeh hai meri beti.... Twitter Kumari... Poori colony isko folow karti hai...!!! 4. Aur mein, mein hun Orkut Kumar... Mujhe koi puchhta hi nahi...!!! More Jokes .. सांभा बागी हो गया! गब्बर: अरे ओ सांभा? सांभा: जी सरदार। गब्बर: कितने आदमी थे रे? सांभा: 2 सरदार। सरदार: मुझे गिनती नहीं आती, 2 कितने होते हैं? सांभा: सरदार, 2 एक के बाद आता है। गब्बर: और 2 के पहले? सांभा: 2 के पहले 1 आता है। गब्बर: तो बीच में कौन आता है? सांभा: बीच में कोई नहीं आता। गब्बर: तो फिर दोनों एक साथ क्यों नहीं आते? सांभा: 2 एक के बाद ही आ सकता है, क्योंकि 2 एक से बाद आता है। गब्बर: 2 एक से बाद आता है, कितना बड़ा है वो? सांभा: 2 एक से बाद आता है। गब्बर: अगर 2 एक से बाद है तो एक-एक से कितना बड़ा है? सांभा: सरदार, मैंने तुम्हारा नमक खाया है, मुझे गोली मार दो, पर मेरा दिमाग तो मत खाओ! More Hindi Jokes ..

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