SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for January 23, 2014 Posted: 22 Jan 2014 10:30 AM PST Act Like a Gentleman! One day Mulla Nasrudin visited a large department store to buy his wife some nylon hose. Inadvertently, he got caught in a mad rush at a counter where a bargain sale was going on. He soon found himself being pushed and stepped on by frantic women. He stood it as long as he could. Then with head lowered and elbows out, he plowed through the crowd. "You there!" said a woman. "Can't you act like a gentleman? " "NOT ANYMORE," said Nasrudin. "I HAVE BEEN ACTING LIKE A GENTLEMAN FOR AN HOUR. FROM NOW ON, I AM ACTING LIKE A LADY." How Was I Born? Pappu to his Mom: Mumma... Main kaise paida hua tha? Mom: Maine ek box me mitti daal kar rakh di thi, kuch din baad uss mein se tum mile mujhe. Pappu did the same thing... Jab Kuch din baad usne jaa kar box khola aur dekha ki usmein ek Cockroach tha. Pappu (Gussey se): Dil to karta hai ki tujhe goli maar dun... Par kya karu..!? Aaulad hai tu meri...!!! More Jokes .. शराबी की मजबूरी? एक शराबी सड़क के किनारे बहुत ज्यादा पीने के कारण लगभग बेसुध सा पड़ा हुआ था। एक भले आदमी ने उसके पास आकर पूछा, "`आखिर इतनी ज्यादा पीने की क्या जरूरत थी?" शराबी: मजबूरी थी पीने के अलावा और कोई चारा ही नहीं था। भला आदमी: आखिर ऐसी क्या मजबूरी हो गई थी ?` शराबी: बोतल का ढक्कन गुम हो गया था। More Hindi Jokes .. Picture SMS दुआ करते हैं हम सर झुका के; आप अपनी मंज़िल को पाएं, मेरे दोस्त; अगर आपकी राहों में कभी अँधेरा आये; तो रौशनी के लिए ख़ुदा हमको जलाए! ज़िंदगी में टेंशन ही टेंशन है; फिर भी इन लबों पर मुस्कान है; क्योंकि जीना जब हर हाल में है; तो मुस्करा के जीने में क्या नुक्सान है। रिश्तों में दूरियां तो आती रहती हैं; फिर भी दूरियां दिलों को मिला देती हैं; वो रिश्ता ही क्या जिसमें नाराज़गी ना हो; पर सच्ची दोस्ती दोस्तों को मना लेती है। More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS A worried Santa to the local police, "I've been getting threatening letters in the mail". That's against the law, isn't it?" "It certainly is", the Inspector replied. "Do you know who's been writing them?" "Yeah', replied Santa. "My girlfriend's husband!" A mind could remember someone for a while; On feet, we could walk easily for a mile; A new fashion won't forever be in style; But having you as a friend would forever be worthwhile! 26 January this year is a water-shed as our leaders would be seeking votes from the public for mandate in this chaos which might bring in a revolutionary change in the Indian political scene. The best way to celebrate it is to register to vote and pledge to exercise your franchise judiciously. Happy Republic Day! Hindi SMS मेले में घोषणा हुई: "एक बच्चा मिला है, 'जिन' का है, आकर ले जाएँ"। संता भीड़ से चिल्लाता हुआ आया, "मुझे भी दिखाओ, जिन का बच्चा कैसा होता है!" सनी लियोन जिस्म 2 के लिए हिंदी सीख रही हैं; उन्हें लग रहा है कि महेश भट्ट जी उनसे डायलाग बुलवाएंगे! लाइन मारने के बहुत से तरीके होते हैं, जिनमें से 3 प्रसिद्ध हैं; 1. पेंसिल से 2. पेन से 3. मार्कर(Marker) से अच्छा सोचो, कुछ लोग शरीफ़ भी होते हैं। मेरी तरह! Trivia Lego men have those little holes in the top of their head to allow air to pass through should a child ever get one stuck in their throat. Quotes Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. He was a wise man who invented beer. Vote: The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

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SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for January 22, 2014 Posted: 21 Jan 2014 10:30 AM PST The Boring Speaker! The after-dinner speaker just didn't have a Stop Button. He burbled on and on, oblivious to his increasingly restless audience. Finally one of the more drunken diners hurled an empty wine bottle at him. It missed, and hit the Chairman instead. As the Chairman slid slowly to the floor clutching his head, he was heard to murmur, "Hit me again, I can still hear him." Pappu and Maggi Noodles Interviewer: Agar 2 minute ke liye aapko pradhanmantri bana diya jaye toh aap kya karenge??? Pappu: Hum Maggi noodles banayenge. Interviewer: Why??? Pappu: Kyunki 2 minute mein toh sirf Maggi hi ban sakti hai. Interviewer: Aur agar 5 saal ke liye bana diya jaye toh??? Pappu: Hum 5 saal ke liye pradhanmantri nahin banenge. Interviewer: Why??? Pappu: Arre mam, itni Maggi kaun khayega? More Jokes .. Picture SMS It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy. Labels are for filing. Labels are for clothing. Labels are not for people. Pappu: You should see my girl. Beautiful as a mirage. Bunty: That's the wrong simile. A mirage is something you can see but can't get your hands on. Pappu: That's my girl! More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS Pappu: You should see my girl. Beautiful as a mirage. Bunty: That's the wrong simile. A mirage is something you can see but can't get your hands on. Pappu: That's my girl! 3 simple steps to Happiness: 1. Make a peg. 2. Say cheers and finish it. 3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 until you feel happy! Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb, the anus forms before any other opening. Which basically means at one point, one is nothing but an asshole. Some people never develop beyond this stage! Hindi SMS बॉस: कहाँ गए थे? बंता: बाल कटवाने। बॉस: ऑफिस के समय? बंता: बाल बढ़े भी तो ऑफिस में ही थे। बॉस: घर में भी तो बढ़ते हैं। बंता: तो पूरे थोड़े ही कटवाए हैं! समोसा, आलू से, "जब मैं फ्राई होता हूँ तो तुम्हें ढक कर गरम तेल से बचा लेता हूँ क्योंकि I love you! आलू: जब लोग तुम्हें फ्राई होने के बाद खाते हैं तो मैं उनका मुँह जला देता हूँ क्योंकि I love you, too! यहाँ हर किसी को दरारों में झाँकने की आदत है; दरवाज़ा खोल दो, कोई पूछने भी नहीं आएगा। Trivia Grizzly bears can run faster than horses and can maintain the speed indefinitely. Depressed people are likely to get colds more often while happy and energetic individuals get sick less often. Quotes It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy. Labels are for filing. Labels are for clothing. Labels are not for people. Sometimes it's better to bunk a class and enjoy with friends, because today when I look back, marks never make me laugh, but memories do!

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