SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for January 22, 2014 Posted: 21 Jan 2014 10:30 AM PST The Boring Speaker! The after-dinner speaker just didn't have a Stop Button. He burbled on and on, oblivious to his increasingly restless audience. Finally one of the more drunken diners hurled an empty wine bottle at him. It missed, and hit the Chairman instead. As the Chairman slid slowly to the floor clutching his head, he was heard to murmur, "Hit me again, I can still hear him." Pappu and Maggi Noodles Interviewer: Agar 2 minute ke liye aapko pradhanmantri bana diya jaye toh aap kya karenge??? Pappu: Hum Maggi noodles banayenge. Interviewer: Why??? Pappu: Kyunki 2 minute mein toh sirf Maggi hi ban sakti hai. Interviewer: Aur agar 5 saal ke liye bana diya jaye toh??? Pappu: Hum 5 saal ke liye pradhanmantri nahin banenge. Interviewer: Why??? Pappu: Arre mam, itni Maggi kaun khayega? More Jokes .. Picture SMS It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy. Labels are for filing. Labels are for clothing. Labels are not for people. Pappu: You should see my girl. Beautiful as a mirage. Bunty: That's the wrong simile. A mirage is something you can see but can't get your hands on. Pappu: That's my girl! More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS Pappu: You should see my girl. Beautiful as a mirage. Bunty: That's the wrong simile. A mirage is something you can see but can't get your hands on. Pappu: That's my girl! 3 simple steps to Happiness: 1. Make a peg. 2. Say cheers and finish it. 3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 until you feel happy! Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb, the anus forms before any other opening. Which basically means at one point, one is nothing but an asshole. Some people never develop beyond this stage! Hindi SMS बॉस: कहाँ गए थे? बंता: बाल कटवाने। बॉस: ऑफिस के समय? बंता: बाल बढ़े भी तो ऑफिस में ही थे। बॉस: घर में भी तो बढ़ते हैं। बंता: तो पूरे थोड़े ही कटवाए हैं! समोसा, आलू से, "जब मैं फ्राई होता हूँ तो तुम्हें ढक कर गरम तेल से बचा लेता हूँ क्योंकि I love you! आलू: जब लोग तुम्हें फ्राई होने के बाद खाते हैं तो मैं उनका मुँह जला देता हूँ क्योंकि I love you, too! यहाँ हर किसी को दरारों में झाँकने की आदत है; दरवाज़ा खोल दो, कोई पूछने भी नहीं आएगा। Trivia Grizzly bears can run faster than horses and can maintain the speed indefinitely. Depressed people are likely to get colds more often while happy and energetic individuals get sick less often. Quotes It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy. Labels are for filing. Labels are for clothing. Labels are not for people. Sometimes it's better to bunk a class and enjoy with friends, because today when I look back, marks never make me laugh, but memories do!

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