SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes


SantaBanta Universal Humour for November 4, 2013

Posted: 03 Nov 2013 10:30 AM PST

Anger Management

Anger Management

My Computer

Help-desk guy speaking to a lady user ...

Help-desk : Double click on "My Computer".

Lady : I can't see your computer..

Help-desk : No .. Click on "My Computer" on your computer.

Lady : How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer ??? !!

Help-desk : There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer .. double click on it.

Lady : What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ?

Ghalib's Date

Ghalib ne girlfriend ko date par bulaya, wo late aayi....

Girl: Am I late ?

Ghalib: Arz hai....

Falak pe chand sitaron ko neend aa rahi hai,

Falak pe chand sitaron ko neend aa rahi hai,

Dusri ka time ho gaya hai, tu ab aa rahi hai.

बदसूरत बच्चा!

एक महिला एक बच्चे को गोद में उठाये हुए बस में चढ़ी।

बस ड्राईवर ने उसके बच्चे कि तरफ देखा और कहा, "मैंने ऐसा बदसूरत बच्चा आज तक नहीं देखा।"

महिला ने कन्डक्टर को किराया पकड़ाया और पीछे जाकर सीट पर बैठ गयी।

उसे ड्राईवर की बात का बुरा लगा था, इसलिए वह थोड़ी उदास सी थी।

उसके साथ बैठे आदमी ने पूछ लिया कि, "बहनजी क्या बात है? आप कुछ परेशान लग रही है।"

महिला ने कहा, "अभी अभी ड्राईवर ने मेरी बेइज्जती की है।"

उस आदमी ने उसे सहानुभूति देते हुए कहा, "क्यों? वह तो जानता का नौकर है उसे इस प्रकार यात्रियों की बेइज्जती नहीं करनी चाहिए।"

महिला ने कहा, "आप ठीक कहते हैं, मुझे लगता है कि मुझे उसकी बदतमीजी का जवाब दे देना चाहिए जिससे मेरे मन को शांति मिले।"

उस आदमी ने कहा, "ये बहुत अच्छी बात कही आपने, आप जाईये और.......... इस बंदर को मुझे दीजिये।"

Picture SMS

May Lord Vishwakarma bless you and your family with peace & happiness;<br/>  I wish you a warm;<br/>  And;<br/>  Happy Vishwakarma Day!

May Lord Vishwakarma bless you and your family with peace & happiness;
I wish you a warm;
And;
Happy Vishwakarma Day!

Hoping that this Vishwakarma Day will be the start of year that brings the happiness in your life;<br/>  I pray to Lord Vishwakarma that he fill your home with prosperity & fortune. <br/>  Best wishes on Vishwakarma Day!

Hoping that this Vishwakarma Day will be the start of year that brings the happiness in your life;
I pray to Lord Vishwakarma that he fill your home with prosperity & fortune.
Best wishes on Vishwakarma Day!

Lord Vishwakarma is the divine crafts man, sculptor, architect & engineer of the Gods;<br/>  And also the creator of the universe.<br/>  May Lord Vishwakarma always bless you.<br/>  Happy Vishwakarma Day!

Lord Vishwakarma is the divine crafts man, sculptor, architect & engineer of the Gods;
And also the creator of the universe.
May Lord Vishwakarma always bless you.
Happy Vishwakarma Day!

Clean SMS

May Lord Vishwakarma bless you and your family with peace & happiness;
I wish you a warm;
And;
Happy Vishwakarma Day!

Hoping that this Vishwakarma Day will be the start of year that brings the happiness in your life;
I pray to Lord Vishwakarma that he fill your home with prosperity & fortune.
Best wishes on Vishwakarma Day!

Lord Vishwakarma is the divine crafts man, sculptor, architect & engineer of the Gods;
And also the creator of the universe.
May Lord Vishwakarma always bless you.
Happy Vishwakarma Day!

Hindi SMS

जय जय श्री भुवन विश्वकर्मा;
कृपा करे श्री गुरुदेव सुधर्मा;
श्रीव अरु विश्वकर्मा माही;
विज्ञानी कहे अंतर नाही।
हैप्पी विश्वकर्मा डे!

अदभुत सकल श्रृष्टि करता;
सत्या ज्ञान श्रुति जग हित धरता;
अतुल तेज तुम्हारो जग माही;
कोई विश्व माही जानत नाही।
हैप्पी विश्वकर्मा डे!

Quotes

I'm trying to strike a balance between Bollywood and Hollywood.

We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone.

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.

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