| SantaBanta Universal Humour for December 21, 2013 Posted: 20 Dec 2013 10:30 AM PST | |  | | | | I mowed the lawn today, and after I'd finished I sat down with a cold beer. It was a beautiful day and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
The wife walked by and asked me what I was doing? and I said. "Nothing".
The reason I said that, instead of saying 'just thinking darling' was because then she would have asked "About what?"
At that point I would have had to explain to her that men are deep thinkers, which would have led to more questions.
Then I thought about the age-old question of whether giving birth is more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Well, after another beer, and some more thinking, I think I may have come up with the answer.
Getting kicked in the nuts is much more painful than having a baby; and my reasoning is:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child, but you will never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case. Time for another beer...... | | | | | | | | Ladki par hath uthaye to zalim;
Ladki se pit jaye to namard.
Ladki ko kisi ke sath dekh kar... lade to jealous;
Chup rahe to begairat.
Ghar se bahar rahe to awara;
Ghar me rahe to nakara.
Bachcho ko dante to buzdil;
Na dante to laparwah.
Biwi ko naukri se roke to shak karne wala;
Na roke to biwi ki kamai khane wala.
Aakhir bechara ladka kare toh kya kare.... ??? Mard Ko Bhi Dard Hota Hai... | | एक बार एक शतरंज का ग्रैंडमास्टर संता और बंता से बोला, चलो यार शतरंज खेलते हैं।
संता: नहीं, आप तो हमें आसानी से हरा दोगे।
ग्रैंडमास्टर: अछा चलो, तुम दोनों और मैं अकेला।
बंता: फिर भी हम हार जाएंगे।
ग्रैंडमास्टर: ठीक है, चलो मैं बाएं हाथ से खेलूंगा।
संता-बंता: हां फिर ठीक है।
ग्रैंडमास्टर संता-बंता को हरा कर चला जाता है।
संता: बड़ी शर्मनाक बात है यार, उसने हमें उल्टे हाथ से भी हरा दिया।
बंता: अबे, वो हमें बेवकूफ बना गया।
संता: कैसे?
बंता: वो लेफ्टी ही होगा। | | | | | | Wife: Tum toh mujhe shaadi ke pehle se jaante the, kya main badal gayi hoon?
Hubby: Shaadi ke pehle you were a real 'Chick'... but now you are always "Chick Chick Chick"! | | | | | | | Faith makes all things possible,
Hope makes all things work,
Love makes all things beautiful,
May you have all the three for this Christmas!
Merry Christmas! | | | | | | | Little keys open big locks;
Simple words reflect great thoughts;
Your smile can cure heart blocks;
So keep on smiling, it rocks.
Happy New Year 2014! | | | | | Wife: Tum toh mujhe shaadi ke pehle se jaante the, kya main badal gayi hoon?
Hubby: Shaadi ke pehle you were a real 'Chick'... but now you are always "Chick Chick Chick"! | | | | Girl 1: Didi, Arvind Kejriwal ka SMS aaya hai, samajh nahin aa raha YES karun ya NO!
Girl 2: Awww kar de! | | | | "Log Kya Kahenge" has killed more dreams than anything else in the world! | | | | बंता: जब मैं पैदा हुआ था तो मिलिट्री वालों ने 21 तोपें चलाई थी।
संता: कमाल है! सब का निशाना चूक गया? | | | | एक लड़की ने पप्पू को आवाज़ लगाई।
ओ भाई जान, कृपया सुनिए तो ज़रा।
पप्पू बोला: ओए! पहले फैसला कर भाई या जान, कन्फ्यूज़ क्यों कर रही है। | | | | डॉक्टर: क्या बात है?
पप्पू: मुझे कुत्ते ने काट लिया है।
डॉक्टर: क्या तुम्हें पता है कि मैं 7 बजे के बाद किसी रोगी को नहीं देखता?
पप्पू: जी, पता है, मगर ये बात कुत्ते को मालूम नहीं थी। | | | | A business that makes nothing but money is a poor business. | | | | Forgiveness means letting go of the past. | | | | Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave. | | | |
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