| SantaBanta Universal Humour for December 12, 2013 Posted: 11 Dec 2013 10:30 AM PST Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do, Father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."
Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
'Certainly, Father,' the man replied.
"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."
The priest said, "I don't believe this! You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I taut you was getting a group together to go right now!" | | | | | | Teacher: I wish you'd pay a little attention.
Pappu: I'm paying as little as I can! | | | | | | | Friends are like mirrors as they are our reflections.
You're damn lucky as I am quite good looking! | | | | | | | Online dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd! | | | | | Hoax News:
Sand storm reported in Rajasthan
Reportedly, Rajinikanth blew his 63rd birthday candles today! |  | | | Teacher: I wish you'd pay a little attention.
Pappu: I'm paying as little as I can! | | | | Friends are like mirrors as they are our reflections.
You're damn lucky as I am quite good looking! | | | | रजनीकांत: आज मेरे कुत्ते ने अंडा दिया।
संता: कुत्ता कब से अंडा देने लगा?
रजनीकांत: यह रजनी का स्टाइल है,
मैंने अपनी मुर्गी का नाम कुत्ता रखा है। | | | | संता क़ब्रिस्तान में चरस पी रहा था।
पुलिस: क्या कर रहे हो?
संता: अब्बू के लिए दुआ।
पुलिस: यह तो बच्चे की क़बर है।
संता: अब्बू बचपन में ही मर गए थे। | | | | तवे पे पड़ा पॉपकॉर्न उछलता क्यों है?
सोचो!
अरे यार ठीक से सोचो!
नहीं सोच पाए ठीक है, जवाब चाहते हो तो खुद बैठ के देख लो तवे पर।
पता चल जायेगा! | | | | New Google employees are called 'nooglers' and are given a propeller beanie hat to wear on their first Friday. | | | | "Dr Awkward" spelled backwards is "Dr Awkward" only. | | | | After Portugal decriminalized every imaginable drug, from marijuana, to cocaine, to heroin on July 1st, 2001 has resulted in drastic reduction in addicts, with Portuguese officials and reports highlighting that this number, at 100,000 before the new policy was enacted, has been halved in the following ten years. Portugal's drug usage rates are now among the lowest of EU member states, according to the same report.
Decriminalizing means use is moved out of criminal courts and into a special court where each offender's unique situation is judged by legal experts, psychologists, and social workers. Treatment and further action is decided in these courts, where addicts and drug use is treated as a public health service rather than referring it to the justice system. | | | | Many will ride with you in the limo but who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down? | | | | The future belongs to those who see possibilities before they become obvious. | | | | Anger and hatred lead to fear; compassion and concern for others allow us to develop self-confidence, which breeds trust and friendship. | | | |
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