| SantaBanta Universal Humour for February 1, 2014 Posted: 31 Jan 2014 10:30 AM PST A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs right into two priests.
He says, "I'm Jesus Christ."
The first priest says, "No, son, you're not."
So the drunk says it to the second priest.
The second priest says, "No, son, you're not."
The drunk says, Look, I can prove it. He walks back into the bar with the two priests.
The bartender takes one look at the drunk and exclaims, "Jesus Christ, you're here again?" | | Pandit ek ladki waale ghar mein shaadi k liye ladke ki baat karne gaya.
Pandit: Aap logon ko kaisa ladka chahiye?"
Ladki Wale: Humein aisa ladka chahiye jo paan, cigarette, daaru, gutkha, jarda ya aur koi bhi nashe na karta ho, boiled khana khata ho aur bhagwaan ka naam jaapta ho.
Pandit: Yajman ji, aisa ladka toh aapko sirf ICU mein hi mil sakta hai. | | | | | | Santa: Our new neighbour is an "Aam Aadmi Party" member.
Banta: How do you know that?
Santa: Today morning, when I waved my hand to her, she showed me the 'Broom'! | | | | | | | I wish for:
The Sun to warm you;
The Moon to charm you;
Beloved's love to balm you;
And close friends to alarm you! | | | | | | | To go with the mustard flowers' bloom;
Let's flaunt our dresses in yellow hues;
Worship Goddess Saraswati with all divinity;
And share yellow sweets with all the swoon!
Happy Basant Panchami! | | | | | Santa: Our new neighbour is an "Aam Aadmi Party" member.
Banta: How do you know that?
Santa: Today morning, when I waved my hand to her, she showed me the 'Broom'! |  | | | I wish for:
The Sun to warm you;
The Moon to charm you;
Beloved's love to balm you;
And close friends to alarm you! | | | | To go with the mustard flowers' bloom;
Let's flaunt our dresses in yellow hues;
Worship Goddess Saraswati with all divinity;
And share yellow sweets with all the swoon!
Happy Basant Panchami! | | | | पप्पू बाइक से बड़ी तेज रफ़्तार में एक लड़की के पास से गुजरा।
लड़की गुस्से में आकर बोली: अबे, अँधा है, मारना है क्या?
पप्पू: अभी मूड नहीं है, फिर कभी सही। | | | | बंटी: अंकल, मुझे बंदर देखना है।
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संता: बेटा, वो अभी संदेश पढ़ रहा है! | | | | आपके आने से ज़िंदगी कितनी खूबसूरत है;
दिल में बसी है जो वो आपकी सूरत है;
दूर जाना नहीं हमसे कभी भूल कर भी;
हमें हर कदम पर आपकी ज़रूरत है।
वैलेंटाइन्स डे की शुभकामनाएं! | | | | The same man invented heroin and aspirin in the same year: Felix Hoffman, 1897. | | | | 'Irregardless' is in fact a word. | | | | The biggest human temptation is... to settle for too little. | | | | What we see depends mainly on what we look for. | | | | If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain. | | | |
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