SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes


SantaBanta Universal Humour for June 21, 2014

Posted: 20 Jun 2014 11:30 AM PDT

Indian Parents

22 EPIC things only Indian parents say. Read this...

1. Paise Ped Pe Nahi Ugte Hain.

2. Me: Mom, Can I go out for a late night party?
Mom: Ask Dad.
Dad: Ask Mom.

3. If you don''t reach home by 8 pm, then there's no need to come back.

4. If you don't study and make a career, you will become like him. *points to a homeless man...

5. Bete, abhi padh lo, baad mein aish hi aish hai...

6. Wait till you have Kids of You're own.

7. Isse Boarding school bhejenge tabhi sudherega.

8. Uncle Aunty ke Pair Chuo Beta... Aashirwaad Lo!

9. Kid: Mummy mere maths mein 90 aaye out of 100.
Mom: Class mein Highest marks kitney hain?

10. Go and study! Ye dost nahi aane vale tere exams dene.

11. Tumko hi sab pata hai... humne toh duniya dekhi hi nahi hai na.

12. Humari baat sun na kabse shuru karoge?

13. Kahaan hai laad sahab, ye koi time hai ghar aane ka ?

14. Ghus ja TV ke Andar... man of the match toh tujhe he milne wala hai!

15. Aunty ko thank you bolo... bolo... 'Thank you aunty' bolo...

16. Humare Time mein aise nahi hota tha.

17. Jab khud kamaoge toh pata chalega kitna mushkil hai kamana.

18. Kya tumhare dost bhi apne maa-baap se isi tarah baat karte hain?

19. Mein ek hi baat mein baar baar nahi bolungi. You're getting up or no? I'm asking youu one last time.

20. Beta, uncle ko woh dance kar ke dikhao, chalo dance kar ke dikhao. Haha, ab nahi kar raha, sharmila hai thoda.

21. Iske Par nikal aaye hain.

22. Dopahar mein bhi light kyu jalate ho?

वकालत!

एक वकील को यह देख कर हैरत हुई कि अंदर के कमरे में बैल कोल्हू खींच रहा है और तेली बाहर बैठा चिलम पी रहा है।

वकील ने तेली से कहा, "अगर बैल रुक जाये तो तुम्हें पता ही नहीं चलेगा।"

तेली: पता चल जायेगा वकील साहिब, उसके गले में बंधी घंटी भी रुक जाएगी।

वकील ने एक मिनट सोचा और फिर बोला, "अच्छा अगर यह एक जगह खड़ा होकर बस अपना सिर हिलाता रहे तो घंटी बजती रहेगी और तुम समझोगे कि बैल चल रहा है।"

तेली ने बड़ी शांति से जवाब दिया, "हमारे बैल ने वकालत नहीं पढ़ी है।"

Picture SMS

Banta: Why doesn't China play Cricket?<br />  Santa: Actually, ICC doesn't want them to play the game because everyone looks the same. If someone gets out, he shall go to the pavilion, wash his face and come out to bat again!

Banta: Why doesn't China play Cricket?
Santa: Actually, ICC doesn't want them to play the game because everyone looks the same. If someone gets out, he shall go to the pavilion, wash his face and come out to bat again!

We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.

We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.

If you salute your work, you do not have to salute anybody. If you pollute your work, you have to salute everybody.

If you salute your work, you do not have to salute anybody. If you pollute your work, you have to salute everybody.

Clean SMS

Banta: Why doesn't China play Cricket?
Santa: Actually, ICC doesn't want them to play the game because everyone looks the same. If someone gets out, he shall go to the pavilion, wash his face and come out to bat again!

Tum Apun Ko Itna Message Karta Hai.
Apun Ko Reply Karne Ko Majbor Karta Hai.
Kya Iss Ke Peechay Koi Plan Hai;
.
.
.
.
Ya Auron Ki Tarah Tum Bhi Apun Ka Fan Hai!

AryaBhatt, great mathematician and astronomer revealed the secret of Eclipse.
AliaBhatt: Eclipse... what Eclispe? Nonsense, Sabke 2 Lips Hote Hein!

Hindi SMS

जहाँ कदम कदम पे मौत घूम रही है आपकी फिराक़ में;
अगर जिगर में है दम तो कुछ दिन तो गुजारिये ईराक में।
~ इराक़ टूरिज्म

बेवक़ूफ़ बीवी अपने पति को ग़ुलाम बना कर रखती है और खुद ग़ुलाम की बीवी कहलाती है;
और समझदार बीवी अपने पति को राजा बना कर रखती है और खुद उसकी रानी बनकर रहती है।

इस ग्रुप में:
नए
पुराने
अच्छे
बुरे
ताज़ा
बासी
टूटे-फूटे
सभी प्रकार के मैसेज स्वीकार किये जाते हैं।
कृपया भेजते रहें!
याद रखें: हमारी कोई दूसरी शाखा नहीं है।

Quotes

We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.

If you salute your work, you do not have to salute anybody. If you pollute your work, you have to salute everybody.

Kiss me my loving babe, kiss me right;
Once is not enough, do it at least twice;
In the beginning, keep it a little light;
Then make it vigourous, I even don't mind a bite!

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