SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for March 20, 2017 Posted: 19 Mar 2017 11:30 AM PDT Being Safe in The Kitchen More Visuals .. If My Body Were A Car If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull but that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close. My traction is not as graceful as it once was.I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. My spare tyres are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently. But here's the worst of it... Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter..... either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires. More Jokes ..

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SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for March 18, 2017 Posted: 17 Mar 2017 11:30 AM PDT My College Days More Visuals .. सब फ़िल्मी है! एक बार ताऊ फिल्म देखण गया, फिल्म का नाम था बॉबी, अर गाणा चाल रया था, "मैं मायके चली जाऊंगी"। Dimple: मैं मायके चली जाऊंगी, तुम देखते रहियो। ताऊ: न्यू क्यूकर चली ज्यागी, यो तेरी टांग ने तोड़ देगा। Rishi Kapoor: मैं दूजा ब्याह रचाउंगा ताऊ: येह्ह्ह्ह बात .. छोरे ने कट्या रोग Dimple: मैं कुवें में गिर जाउंगी। ताऊ: छोरे बहकाए में मत आ ज्याइये .. पाखण्ड कर रिह सै। Rishi Kapoor: मैं रस्सी से खिंचवाऊंगा। ताऊ: अरे क्या ने खिंचवावे सै..... आगे फेर सेधेगी। Dimple: मैं पेड़ पर चढ़ जाउंगी। ताऊ: टंगी रहन्दे सासु की नै। Rishi Kapoor: मैं आरी से कटवाऊंगा ताऊ: अरे तू भी मैंने तो किमे नकली सा ए लाग्या... खामखाँ अपनी बुआ नै सिर पै चढ़ा रया सै। Dimple: मैं मायके नहीं जाउंगी, मैं मायके नहीं जाउंगी। ताऊ: तावलिये होश ठिकाणे आगे More Hindi Jokes .. Picture SMS While Chatting: Girl: Do you drink? Boy: No Girl: Do you smoke? Boy: No Girl: Then how do you have fun in life? Boy: I lie! I am so lazy that simply sitting with good posture seems like work to me! Single life is all about picking up the phone, unlocking it and seeing your disappointed face along with time and locking it again! More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS While Chatting: Girl: Do you drink? Boy: No Girl: Do you smoke? Boy: No Girl: Then how do you have fun in life? Boy: I lie! I am so lazy that simply sitting with good posture seems like work to me! Single life is all about picking up the phone, unlocking it and seeing your disappointed face along with time and locking it again! Hindi SMS मम्मी-पापा डर रहे हैं कि लड़का लव मैरिज ना करे। अब उन्हें कौन बताये कि यहाँ तो कोई लड़की फ्रेंड रिक्वेस्ट भी नहीं ले रही। पति: तुम मेरी बात को एक कान से सुनकर दूसरे कान से मत निकाल देना। पत्नी: ठीक है तो मैं Headphones लगा कर बात करती हूँ। पति: वो क्यों? पत्नी: अरे...ताकि बात दूसरे कान से बाहर ना निकले। गोवा की घटना से कांग्रेस को यह सबक मिला है कि सिर्फ लाइन मारने से कुछ नहीं होता आगे बढ़कर प्रपोज करने की हिम्मत भी करनी पड़ती है।

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SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for March 15, 2017 Posted: 14 Mar 2017 11:30 AM PDT The Karma Cafe More Visuals .. How To Make Pie Grandma made such beautiful pies. One day I asked her, "How do you get such beautiful pies with the crimps around the edge so even?" "Well, it's a family secret," she said. "But if you promise not to tell, I'll let you in on it." "Okay," I said. "Tell me!" "Well, first, I roll out the dough, making sure it is flat and even. Then I cut out the bottom layer and carefully put in the pie plate and make sure it is firmly against the sides of the plate. "Then I slowly pour in the filling, making sure it's not too full. "Next, I cut out the top layer and carefully put it over the filling. "Finally, I take out my teeth and just run them around the edge of the pie crust, and they make the nicest even impressions you ever did see!" More Jokes .. प्रेम पत्र! एक सुन्दर युवती दवाईयों की एक दुकान के सामने काफी देर तक खडी थी। भीड़ छटने का इंतज़ार कर रही थी। दुकान का मालिक उसे शक की नजर से घूर रहा था। बहुत देर बाद जब दुकान मे कोई ग्राहक नही बचा, तो वह लड़की दुकान मे आयी। एक सेल्समन को धीरे से एक किनारे बुलाया। दुकान मालिक अब और भी ज्यादा चौकन्ना हो गया। लड़की ने धीरे से एक कागज़ सेल्समन की ओर बढाया और धीरे से फुसफुसायी, . . . . . . . . . . . "भैया, मेरी एक डॉक्टर के साथ शादी तय हो गयी है। आज उनकी पहली चिठ्ठी आयी है। थोडा पढ़कर सुनायेंगे क्या? More Hindi Jokes .. Picture SMS Preeto: What is Experience? Jeeto: The name most men give to their mistakes! You know you're getting fat when you make a comment about needing to lose weight and the other person doesn't say anything back! Children grow an average of 2.5 inches a year. All of that growth happens in the 24 hours after you buy them new clothes! More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS Preeto: What is Experience? Jeeto: The name most men give to their mistakes! You know you're getting fat when you make a comment about needing to lose weight and the other person doesn't say anything back! Children grow an average of 2.5 inches a year. All of that growth happens in the 24 hours after you buy them new clothes! Hindi SMS गोवा का मुख्यमंत्री बनने के लिए मनोहर पर्रिकर ने रक्षा मंत्री के पद से इस्तीफा दे दिया है। गोवा जाने के लिए बंदा किसी भी हद तक जा सकता है। एक ताऊ बस में चढ़ा, बस में बहुत भीड़ थी तो ताऊ दरवाज़े के पास खड़ा हो गया। कंडक्टर: ताऊ दरवाज़े में क्यों खड़ा है? भीतर हो जा। ताऊ: क्यों भीतर दरी बिछा रखी है? लड़कियाँ इतनी समझदार होती है कि अगर आप उन्हें समझदार भी कहोगे, तो वो तुरंत समझ जाती हैं कि आप झूठ बोल रहे हैं। Quotes It is through gratitude for the present moment that the spiritual dimension of life opens up.

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SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for March 11, 2017 Posted: 10 Mar 2017 10:30 AM PST A Oxymoron by a Moron More Visuals .. Toilet Sink After a night on the town, a young woman brought a new friend home for a late-night drink. "You can't make any noise," she warned him. "My parents are upstairs and if they find out they'll kill us." Things started getting heated on the sofa, but after a while alcohol got the better of the man. "I have to go," he said. "Well you can't go upstairs. The bathroom is right next to my parents' bedroom," she replied. "Use the kitchen sink." So he dutifully retired to the kitchen. a paper towel?" More Jokes .. Picture SMS Counting to ten after someone pisses you off gives you time to think of somewhere to bury him! Sorry if I didn't reply to your text, I wasn't able to find a response that would keep you from sending another! Santa: Son, you should do hard work because hard work never killed anyone. Pappu: I know Dad, but why take a chance? More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS Counting to ten after someone pisses you off gives you time to think of somewhere to bury him! Sorry if I didn't reply to your text, I wasn't able to find a response that would keep you from sending another! Santa: Son, you should do hard work because hard work never killed anyone. Pappu: I know Dad, but why take a chance? Hindi SMS लड़की अपने बॉयफ्रेंड से: मेरी शादी तय हो गयी है। क्या तुम मेरी शादी में आओगे? लड़का: पगली हम 20-20 कि.मी. तक भंडारे नहीं छोड़ते, यहाँ तो शादी का खाना है। उस पति को भी परमवीर चक्र मिलना चाहिए जो... . . . . . . . पत्नी के मुँह पे कह देता है, आज खाना अच्छा नहीं बना है। लड़का परफ्यूम लगा के बस में चढ़ा तो लड़की ने कम्मेंट किया, "आजकल फिनायल का इस्तेमाल ज़्यादा होने लगा है।" लड़का: फिर भी मक्खियाँ पीछा नहीं छोड़ती। Quotes If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

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