SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for April 16, 2014 Posted: 15 Apr 2014 11:30 AM PDT Homeless!!! More Visuals .. FBI Assassin The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testings were done three finalists remained. Richard, Sam and Jane were to be given a final test. For the final test, the FBI agents took Richard to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find Betty, your wife, sitting in a chair. Kill Her!" Richard said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home." Sam was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Sam came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home." Finally it was Jane's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband Bob. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood Jane, wiping the sweat from her brow. "The gun was loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with a chair." FACEBOOK Ki Leela... Facebook ki leela sab par padi bhaari hai... 71 saal ki budhiya bhi yahan kunwaari hai... Chacha ki bhi kismat badal jaati hai... 18 saal ki chaachi yahan mil jaati hai... Ladke yahan ladkiyan ban jaate hein... Nakali Id se aatank machaate hein... Kuchh toh itne paagal ho jaate hein... Din raat 'Add Me' - 'Add Me' chillaate hein! More Jokes .. अस्पतालों की सैर! संता: मैं दुनियां के सारे अस्पतालों में हो कर आ चूका हूँ। बंता: नहीं, तुम अभी तक एक अस्पताल में हो कर नहीं आए होगे। संता: हो ही नहीं सकता, तुम उस अस्पताल का नाम बताओ। बंता: जनाना अस्पताल। संता: अरे यार, वहाँ तो मैं पैदा ही हुआ था। More Hindi Jokes .. Picture SMS God picked up a flower and dipped it in a DEW; Lovingly touched it which turned in to you; And the He gifted to me and said, "this friend is for you"! Pinky: I told him he mustn't see me any more. Her friend Guddi: Well, what did he do? Pinky: He turned off the lights! Pappu:: I'd like to kiss you until you hollered 'Stop'! Girl: Well, I guess you picked the wrong girl this time. Pappu: You mean you won't let me kiss you? Girl: No, I mean I wouldn't holler 'Stop'! More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS God picked up a flower and dipped it in a DEW; Lovingly touched it which turned in to you; And the He gifted to me and said, "this friend is for you"! Pinky: I told him he mustn't see me any more. Her friend Guddi: Well, what did he do? Pinky: He turned off the lights! Pappu:: I'd like to kiss you until you hollered 'Stop'! Girl: Well, I guess you picked the wrong girl this time. Pappu: You mean you won't let me kiss you? Girl: No, I mean I wouldn't holler 'Stop'! Hindi SMS एक कब्र खोदने वाले ने खूब शराब पी ली और नशे की हालत में इतनी गहरी कब्र खोदी कि उसमें से बाहर निकलना ही मुश्किल हो गया। रात हो चली थी। सर्दी बेहद थी उसे आहट सुनाई दी तो चिल्लाया, "अरे मुझे बड़ी सर्दी लग रही है। कोई कुछ करो।" एक पठान ने कब्र में झांककर देखा और बोला: "सर्दी तो लगेगी ही। लोग तुम पर मिट्टी डालना भूल गए हैं।" युवक झिझकता हुआ अपनी प्रेमिका के बाप के सामने पहुंचा: मैं आपसे आपकी लड़की का हाथ मांगने आया हूँ। बाप बोला: "सिर्फ हाथ नहीं मिल सकता! मांगनी है तो पूरी लड़की मांगो।" दूसरी शादी करने के 4 तरीके . . . . . . . कमीने, बहुत स्पीड में नीचे आए हो; पहले एक शादी को तो हैंडल कर लो।

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