SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for October 30, 2013 Posted: 29 Oct 2013 11:30 AM PDT Good News!!! More Visuals .. Types of Ladies Technically there are 7 TYPES OF LADIES: 1. HARD DISK lady: Remembers everything forever. 2. RAM lady: Forgets about you the moment you turn off. 3. SCREENSAVER lady: Just for looking. 4. INTERNET lady: Difficult to access. 5. SERVER lady: Always busy when needed 6. MULTIMEDIA lady: Looks beautiful but you can only look. 7. VIRUS lady: This type of lady is normally called 'WIFE', once enters your system, never leaves even if the system is formatted. Soap Affair Ek REXONA naam ki ladki thi. Jiske Mammi Papa ka naam DAYNA or CINTHOL tha. Ek MARGO naam ka ladka jo REXONA ko pyaar karta tha or REXONA bhi MARGO ko apna LIFEBOY banana chahti thi. Dono ka pyaar PEARS ki tarah bilkul saaf tha. Dono ki shaadi FAIR & LOVELY Garden mein hui. Shaadi mein, DETOL, MEDIMIX, LUX, FAA, NIRMA, VIVEL, DOVE Etc. Aate hain. Shaadi ke kuchh saal baad unke Judwa bachche hue jinka naam rakha gaya "JOHNSON & JOHNSON" Hanso mat, ye ek tareeka tha aapko btaane ka ki bazaar mein Sabun ki poori family hai, kisi ek member ko pakdo or Nhaa lo. More Jokes .. किस्मत वाली गाडी! एक जगह पर गाड़ी कि नीलामी हो रही थी। 10 लाख। 15 लाख। 20 लाख। 25 लाख। तभी वहाँ से संता गुजरा उसने बंता से कहा, "अरे यार ये गाड़ी देख खटारा जैसी लग रही है ये सब ज्यादा कीमत लगा रहें हैं कि नहीं, ऐसी भी क्या खूबी है इस गाड़ी में?" बंता बोला,"मैंने सुना है जो इस गाड़ी को खरीदता है उसकी पत्नी का एक्सीडेंट हो जाता है।" संता बोला,"मेरा 50 लाख।" More Hindi Jokes .. Picture SMS How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterwards. पति: जेल में रहने से एक बड़ा लाभ है। पत्नी: वह क्या? पति: वहाँ कोई कम्बखत आधी रात को जगाकर यह नहीं कहता कि घर का दरवाजा बंद है या खुला? हर ख़ुशी, ख़ुशी मांगे आपसे; हर जिंदगी, जिंदगी मांगे आपसे; इतना उजाला हो आपके जीवन में कि; दियें भी रोशनी मांगे आपसे। हैप्पी दिवाली! More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS Your Eyes are Chakaris; Your Lips are Rockets; Your Smile is Phuljari; Your Cheeks are Anaar; You are a Patakha; And your figure is a Bomb! Please escape from here before I light you with a candle! Happy Diwali! The falling of Diwali and Muharram on the same day is a sign that we are all children of the same God. May Eeshwar and Allah give us strength to love and respect the different faiths and co-exist in harmony! iPhone is the Salman Khan of the mobile world. Expensive... Just one design... Same performance... No change or enhancement... And only cosmetic changes... A lot of blind fan following! Hindi SMS संता और बंता कॉफ़ी शॉप में कॉफ़ी पी रहे थे। संता बोला: जल्दी पी यार, कॉफ़ी ठंडी हो जायेगी। बंता: तो क्या हुआ? संता: अरे बेवकूफ, मेनू कार्ड पढ़, हॉट कॉफ़ी 40 रूपये और कोल्ड कॉफ़ी 80 रुपये है। पति: जेल में रहने से एक बड़ा लाभ है। पत्नी: वह क्या? पति: वहाँ कोई कम्बखत आधी रात को जगाकर यह नहीं कहता कि घर का दरवाजा बंद है या खुला? कौन कहता है दिल पागल है; पागलपन तो सिर्फ एक बहाना है; एक बार हंसकर मुस्कुराकर तो देखो; ये पागल भी तुम्हारा दिवाना है। Trivia China sells capsules made out of aborted human fetuses. Each of the bags contains a single aborted foetus. The infants' remains is cut up into small pieces, dried, microwaved and then ground down into a coarse powder, to be made into tablets of an "alternative medicine" that plays on centuries-old superstitions and folklore. A person can die from drinking too much water. Quotes How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterwards. I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not. Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.

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A Spooky Sneak Peek!

A Spooky Sneak Peek!

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SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for October 29, 2013 Posted: 28 Oct 2013 11:30 AM PDT Illusion or desperation? Hundred percent of men didn`t see King Kong in the picture. More Visuals .. Bank Robbers! Santa and Banta decided to rob a bank but during the process of the robbery they mess it up, but they do managing to escape with two sacks that they find on the floor. They do manage to take one sack each. After a while they meet again and one asks the other... Santa: What did you find in your sack? Banta: Ten lakh Rupees! Santa: Wow... that's a lot of money!' What did you do with the cash? Banta: I bought a house. How about your sack? Santa: It was full of bills. Banta: And what did you do with them? Santa: Eh, well... little by little, I'm paying them off... Company Policy! Banta, an eager young man entered his prospective boss's office for an interview. "One thing our company is very particular about is cleanliness. I hope you wiped your shoe on the door mat while coming in?" said the boss. "Yes sir," Banta replied promptly. The boss continued, "One more thing we're very particular about is honesty. There is no door mat outside!" Not Again! After four years of separation, a man and his wife finally divorced amicably. He wanted to date again, but he had no idea of how to start, so he decided to look in the personals column of the local newspaper. After reading through all the listings, he circled three that seemed possible in terms of age and interest, but he put off calling them. Two days later, there was a message on his answering machine from his ex-wife: "I came over to your house to borrow some tools today and saw the ads you circled in the paper. Don`t call the one in the second column. It`s me." More Jokes .. Picture SMS God is really only another artist. जीतो: मेरा बेटा मुझे माँ कहकर नहीं पुकारता। संता (गुस्से में) बोला: मैं उसे सजा दूंगा। जीतो: क्या सजा दोगे उसे? संता: इतना मारूंगा कि उसका बाप भी तुझे माँ कहेगा। Most human beings are quite likeable if you do not see too much of them. More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS D: Decorate your home with I: Incandescent lamps and have a W: Wonderful festival of L: Lights, which brings I: Incredible joy, love, laughter, peace and wealth into your life! Have a very Happy Diwali! November 01: DHANTERAS May Kuber ji always keep your coffers full! November 02: KALI CHAUDAS May Goddess Kali abolish laziness and evil from your life! November 03: DIWALI May Goddess Lakshmi light your life with happiness and prosperity! November 04: NUTAN VARSH May you be blessed by offering an 'Annakut", or a "mountain of food", to God as a symbol of appreciation and gratitude. Nutan Varsha Abhinandan! November 05: BHAI DHOOJ May you be blessed with love of siblings! November 06: LABH PANCHAM May you have an auspicious start to business on Kartik! Happy Festival Season! Santa: I always give waiters a tip. Banta: That's nice of you. Santa: But somehow, they never seem to appreciate my advice! Hindi SMS जीतो: मेरा बेटा मुझे माँ कहकर नहीं पुकारता। संता (गुस्से में) बोला: मैं उसे सजा दूंगा। जीतो: क्या सजा दोगे उसे? संता: इतना मारूंगा कि उसका बाप भी तुझे माँ कहेगा। गर्लफ्रेंड: एक तरफ पैसा है एक तरफ दिमाग तुम क्या लोगे? पप्पू: पैसा। गर्लफ्रेंड: मैं तो दिमाग लेती। पप्पू: अब जिसके पास जो नहीं है वो वही तो लेगा। शादी और सगाई के बीच में थोड़ा सा समय क्यों रखा जाता है। ताकि कोई यह न कह सके कि, "मुझे दुर्घटना से बचने का मौका नहीं दिया।" Trivia The island of Manhattan (NYC) was purchased from the Algonquin Indians in 1624 for a whopping $24. Doughnuts didn't have a hole in their center until a sea captain from Maine began poking holes in his mother's doughnuts in 1847. 'Bookkeeper' is the only word in English language with three consecutive double letters. Quotes I got food poisoning today. Don't know when I'll use it though. God is really only another artist. Most human beings are quite likeable if you do not see too much of them.

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