| SantaBanta Universal Humour for October 23, 2013 Posted: 22 Oct 2013 11:30 AM PDT | | | The only rule which every men should learn by heart in order to mark onset of harmony in his bed room. | | | | | |  | | | | A letter from a guy to Agony Aunt:
Dear Abby,
I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.
The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."
I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi?
I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.
Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home.
It was at that moment, crouching behind my Harley, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer ??? | | | | | | | | Ek ladki roz jab college se ghar ati to ek ladke ko apne ghar ke bahar khada dekhti.
Aisa roz hota tha, even pura 1 saal beet gaya. Aur wo ladka roz us ko apne ghar ke samne nazar aata.
Wo kuch nahi kehta tha bas chup chaap kabhi agey pechay aur kabhi apne mobile phone ko dekhta.
Ladki ko yaqeen hone laga ki ladka usko chahta hai.
Ek din ladki himmat kar ke us ke pass gayi aur pucha, "Tum roz aise mere ghar ke bahar kyun khade hote ho ??
Ladka ghabra gaya aur foran bola, "Maaf karna bahen actually tumhare Wifi pe password nahi laga hua wo use karne aata hun...." | | | | | | | | After a long day at the office, Chris came home one day to find his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit was obviously dead. Chris panicked!
"If my neighbors find out my dog killed their bunny, they'll hate me forever," he thought.
So he took the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house, gave it a bath and blow-dried its fur.
Chris knew his neighbors kept their backdoor open during the summer, so he sneaked inside and put the bunny back into the cage, hoping his neighbors would think it died of natural causes.
A couple of days later Chris and his neighbor saw each other outside.
"Did you hear that Fluffy died?" the neighbor asked.
"Oh. Uhmm... Sorry to hear that. What happened?" Chris mumbled.
The neighbor replied, "We just found him dead in his cage one day. But the strange thing is that the day after we buried him, we went out to dinner and someone must have dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage!" | | संता एक बार में जाता है और बार वाले से कहता है,"मुझे एक जोरदार पैग पिलाओ।"
बार वाला पैग लेकर आता है, संता पैग उठाता है और इसे इसे एक सांस में पी जाता है।
संता एक और पैग लाने के लिए कहता है वह भी जल्दी पी के रख देता है।
पांच, छह पैग पीने के बाद बार वाला सोचता है, कि अब वो उसे और शराब नहीं पिलाएगा, बार वाला संता से कहता है, "अरे आज क्या बात है? क्या बीवी से झगड़ा हुआ है या कुछ और?"
संता आह भरते हुए कहता है, "हाँ झगड़ा हुआ है और झगड़े के बाद मेरी बीवी ने कहा एक महीने तक उससे बात नहीं करनी।"
बार वाले ने कहा, "तो इसमें गलत क्या है?"
संता ने कहा, अरे आज बात न करने का आखिरी दिन है। | | | | | | Delusion detests focus and romance provides the veil. | | | | | | | Critics? I love every bone in their heads. | | | | | | | If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it. | | | | | My friends are very special because they're funny, friendly, crazy, nuts, mental, daft, kind and caring.
But most of all, they are all the more special because they're mine! | | | | Wife: Honey, before we got married, you used to give me gifts and expensive jewelry.
Husband: Yes... so?
Wife: How come you don't do it anymore?
Husband: Have you ever seen a fisherman give worms to the fish after catching it! | | | | Pappu: Dad, I want an iPhone 5.
Santa: Look at my hand... how many fingers I have? | | | | संता: सिर के साथ-साथ अपने कंधो पर भी शैम्पू लगा रहा था।
जीतो: कंधों पे शैम्पू क्यों लगा रहे हो?
संता: पगली ये कोई आम शैम्पू नहीं है, 'हेड एंड शोल्डर' है। | | | | अध्यापिका: ये बताओ बारिश के साथ बिजली क्यों चमकती है?
पप्पू: जी इससे पता चलता है कि कौन-कौन सी जगह सूखी रह गई है। | | | | जब किसी पर बुरा वक्त आता है तो उसका दोस्त;
और उसके परिवार वाले उसके साथ खड़े होते हैं।
यकीन ना हो तो किसी की भी शादी का एल्बम देख लेना। | | | | Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka. | | | | Gravity is weaker in North America than it is in Europe, East Asia, Australia, and North Africa. This is because Earth is not a perfect sphere, and its interior mass is not evenly distributed. There are slight variations of gravitational pull depending on where on Earth's surface you are.
In fact, you can now check to see which points on the Earth's surface have the strongest and weakest gravitational pulls with a "gravity map", available at BBC.com. | | | | Delusion detests focus and romance provides the veil. | | | | Critics? I love every bone in their heads. | | | | If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it. | | | |
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