SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for October 29, 2013 Posted: 28 Oct 2013 11:30 AM PDT Illusion or desperation? Hundred percent of men didn`t see King Kong in the picture. More Visuals .. Bank Robbers! Santa and Banta decided to rob a bank but during the process of the robbery they mess it up, but they do managing to escape with two sacks that they find on the floor. They do manage to take one sack each. After a while they meet again and one asks the other... Santa: What did you find in your sack? Banta: Ten lakh Rupees! Santa: Wow... that's a lot of money!' What did you do with the cash? Banta: I bought a house. How about your sack? Santa: It was full of bills. Banta: And what did you do with them? Santa: Eh, well... little by little, I'm paying them off... Company Policy! Banta, an eager young man entered his prospective boss's office for an interview. "One thing our company is very particular about is cleanliness. I hope you wiped your shoe on the door mat while coming in?" said the boss. "Yes sir," Banta replied promptly. The boss continued, "One more thing we're very particular about is honesty. There is no door mat outside!" Not Again! After four years of separation, a man and his wife finally divorced amicably. He wanted to date again, but he had no idea of how to start, so he decided to look in the personals column of the local newspaper. After reading through all the listings, he circled three that seemed possible in terms of age and interest, but he put off calling them. Two days later, there was a message on his answering machine from his ex-wife: "I came over to your house to borrow some tools today and saw the ads you circled in the paper. Don`t call the one in the second column. It`s me." More Jokes .. Picture SMS God is really only another artist. जीतो: मेरा बेटा मुझे माँ कहकर नहीं पुकारता। संता (गुस्से में) बोला: मैं उसे सजा दूंगा। जीतो: क्या सजा दोगे उसे? संता: इतना मारूंगा कि उसका बाप भी तुझे माँ कहेगा। Most human beings are quite likeable if you do not see too much of them. More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS D: Decorate your home with I: Incandescent lamps and have a W: Wonderful festival of L: Lights, which brings I: Incredible joy, love, laughter, peace and wealth into your life! Have a very Happy Diwali! November 01: DHANTERAS May Kuber ji always keep your coffers full! November 02: KALI CHAUDAS May Goddess Kali abolish laziness and evil from your life! November 03: DIWALI May Goddess Lakshmi light your life with happiness and prosperity! November 04: NUTAN VARSH May you be blessed by offering an 'Annakut", or a "mountain of food", to God as a symbol of appreciation and gratitude. Nutan Varsha Abhinandan! November 05: BHAI DHOOJ May you be blessed with love of siblings! November 06: LABH PANCHAM May you have an auspicious start to business on Kartik! Happy Festival Season! Santa: I always give waiters a tip. Banta: That's nice of you. Santa: But somehow, they never seem to appreciate my advice! Hindi SMS जीतो: मेरा बेटा मुझे माँ कहकर नहीं पुकारता। संता (गुस्से में) बोला: मैं उसे सजा दूंगा। जीतो: क्या सजा दोगे उसे? संता: इतना मारूंगा कि उसका बाप भी तुझे माँ कहेगा। गर्लफ्रेंड: एक तरफ पैसा है एक तरफ दिमाग तुम क्या लोगे? पप्पू: पैसा। गर्लफ्रेंड: मैं तो दिमाग लेती। पप्पू: अब जिसके पास जो नहीं है वो वही तो लेगा। शादी और सगाई के बीच में थोड़ा सा समय क्यों रखा जाता है। ताकि कोई यह न कह सके कि, "मुझे दुर्घटना से बचने का मौका नहीं दिया।" Trivia The island of Manhattan (NYC) was purchased from the Algonquin Indians in 1624 for a whopping $24. Doughnuts didn't have a hole in their center until a sea captain from Maine began poking holes in his mother's doughnuts in 1847. 'Bookkeeper' is the only word in English language with three consecutive double letters. Quotes I got food poisoning today. Don't know when I'll use it though. God is really only another artist. Most human beings are quite likeable if you do not see too much of them.

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