SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for October 17, 2014 Posted: 16 Oct 2014 11:30 AM PDT Bus Tours! A group of Canadians were travelling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through a process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced. She then asked, "What do you do in Canada with your old goats that aren't producing?" A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours." More Jokes .. Picture SMS My ambition is handicapped by my laziness. To be angry is to revenge the fault of others upon ourselves. Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor. More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS The Selfie Cycle: Take Selfie Examine Selfie Get Self Conscious Erase Selfie Take Selfie Smart Boy+Smart Naari = Affair Jaari Smart Boy+Bewkoof Nari = Paun Bhaari Bewkoof Boy+Bewkoof Nari = Shaadi Ki Tyaari Bewkoof Boy+Smart Nari = Ladka Bhikaari! Life Mein Koi Bhi Takleef Ho... Toh Kisaan Ke Paas Chale Jao. Kyunki... . . . . . . . . . . . Uske Paas 'Hal' Hai! Hindi SMS दिल को सबसे ज्यादा दर्द कब होता है? जब आप मोबाइल चार्जिंग पर लगा कर जाये; . . . . . . . और 2 घण्टे बाद आकर देखें कि बटन तो ऑन किया ही नहीं। कसम से दिल चकनाचूर हो जाता है। आप शीशे को 3 तरह से तोड़ सकते हो। पहला तरीका है, शीशे पर पत्थर मार कर; दूसरा तरीका है, शीशे को ज़मीन पर गिरा कर; तीसरा और सबसे असरदार तरीका... . . . . . . . . . भाई तू खुद ही शीशे के सामने खड़ा हो जा। शीशा खुद ही टूट जायेगा। सिंधी, पठान से: तुम ये ईंट लिए क्यों फिर रहे हो? पठान: वो मैं अपना घर बेचना चाहता हूँ और ये उसका नमूना है। Quotes My ambition is handicapped by my laziness. To be angry is to revenge the fault of others upon ourselves. Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor.

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SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for October 16, 2014 Posted: 15 Oct 2014 11:30 AM PDT The Wooden Ball... An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and haircut, but he tells the barber he probably can't get all of his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin. When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he's had in years. But he wanted to know what would have happened If he had swallowed that little ball. The barber replied, "Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does." More Jokes .. Picture SMS An idea is salvation by imagination. Love cures people, both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it. Some people care too much. I think it's called love. More Picture SMS .. Trivia The song 'Ab Tumhare Hawale Watan Saathiyon' in the film by the same name is the longest Hindi film song. The length of this iconic song is 20 minutes and the song is featured in three installments in the film. 25,000,000 of your cells died while you were reading this sentence. Regular consumption of processed meats (bacon, hot dogs, ham, sausage, etc) can lead to a higher risk of prostate cancer. Quotes An idea is salvation by imagination. Love cures people, both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it. Some people care too much. I think it's called love.

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SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for October 15, 2014 Posted: 14 Oct 2014 11:30 AM PDT Who's Cheating??? A husband and a wife were sleeping. Suddenly, a sound of a car screeching was heard outside. The wife woke up and shouted, "Oh it must be my husband!" The husband woke up after he hear his wife's words and ran off to hide in a bush outside. Moments later, the husband came in, angry, "What do you mean 'Oh it must be my husband!' Are you saying you have other men over?" Wife, "Well, then why did you run away?" More Jokes .. ज़ुल्मी तोता! अपने हरयाणे आले तो तोते बी जुल्मी होवे सै। दिल्ली आला आदमी अपने हरयाणे में आ रहा था एक मेले में घुमण। उड़े उसने एक तोता पसंद आ जा से तो वो दुकान आले ते बुझे से, "अक इसमें के खासियत से?" दुकानदार उस तोते की एक टाँग खीच दे सै तो तोता बोल्या, "गुड मॉर्निंग।" भाई वो आदमी उस तोते ने घणा ऐ राजी होके खरीद लेजा से अपने घरा। आगले दिन तड़के ऐ तड़क वो आदमी तोते की एक टाँग खीच दे सै तो तोता बोल्या, "गुड मॉर्निंग।" इब उस आदमी ने सोची अक इसकी दूसरी टाँग और खीच दू तो यो और भी बढ़िया बोलेगा, जुकर हैव ए नाईस डे। उसने तोते की दूसरी टाँग भी खीच दी तो तोता बोल्या, "मेरी सासु के गेरे गा के" More Hindi Jokes .. Picture SMS Instead of burning a Pataka, . . . . . . . . . . . . Date a Pataka! Have an eco-friendly Diwali! Applicable to bachelors only! Because married men are already living with Nuclear Bombs! Lucky are the ones who get a Boss who is not only a role model; But the one who encourages and mentors you to grow in life. Thanks for being such a wonderful Boss! Happy Boss Day! Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference! More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS Instead of burning a Pataka, . . . . . . . . . . . . Date a Pataka! Have an eco-friendly Diwali! Applicable to bachelors only! Because married men are already living with Nuclear Bombs! Lucky are the ones who get a Boss who is not only a role model; But the one who encourages and mentors you to grow in life. Thanks for being such a wonderful Boss! Happy Boss Day! I don't hate even a single person on Friends' List. . . . . . . . . . I have blocked them all! Hindi SMS बंता: ये Arrange Marriage में तलाक कम क्यों होते हैं? संता: यार जो अपनी मर्जी से शादी नहीं कर सका, वो साला तलाक क्या ख़ाक लेगा। रेखा जी को एक तरफ अमिताभ बच्चन से शादी ना करने का दर्द है तो वहीं दूसरी तरफ अभिषेक बच्चन की माँ ना होने की ख़ुशी है। समंदर के किनारे दो प्रेमी बैठे हुए थे। लड़की ने लड़के का हाथ पकड़कर कहा,"तुम कुछ बोलते क्यों नहीं?" लड़के ने मुस्कुरा कर रेत पर लिखा; . . . . . . . "मेरे मुंह में गुटखा है।" Quotes The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering. True love doesn't happen by accident. It's deliberate, it's intentional, it's purposeful, and in the end...it's worth it.

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SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for October 14, 2014 Posted: 13 Oct 2014 11:30 AM PDT Exactly like The MOON One day a Professor was talking about marriage in the class. Professor: What kind of Wife would you like Pappu? Pappu: I would want a wife like the moon. Professor: Wow !!! What a choice... So you want her to be Cool & Calm like the moon? Pappu: No, no... Professor: Oh, so you want her to be Round and white? Pappu: No, no... Professor: Oh, so you want her to be Fair and Beautiful like the moon? Pappu: No, no... I want her to be Exactly like The MOON. Just Arrive at Night and Disappear in the Morning. Professor fainted... More Jokes .. Picture SMS Jeeto: You used to say that I was all the world to you. Santa: Yes, but I've learned a lot about geography since then! Wife: I' m going up-town this afternoon. Hubby: Shopping? Wife: No, I won't have time. I just want to get some things I need! Rather be someone's shot of whisky than everyone's cup of tea! More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS Jeeto: You used to say that I was all the world to you. Santa: Yes, but I've learned a lot about geography since then! Wife: I' m going up-town this afternoon. Hubby: Shopping? Wife: No, I won't have time. I just want to get some things I need! Rather be someone's shot of whisky than everyone's cup of tea! Hindi SMS फूल इंसानो से ज्यादा खूबसूरत होते हैं, पर कुछ लोग फूलों से भी ज्यादा खूबसूरत होते हैं। जैसे कि... . . . . . . 'आप' . . . . . . . मुझे ही देख लो। विकसित देशों के बच्चे उस बात की ख़ुशी को कैसे समझ सकते हैं, जो हमारे देश के बच्चे समझते हैं और जब कहते हैं, . . . . . . . . . "लाइट आ गयी, ओये"। पठान खाँसी की दवाई लेने डॉक्टर के पास गया। डॉक्टर: यह दवाई 2 चम्मच सुबह, 2 चम्मच दोपहर और 2 चम्मच रात को 3 दिन तक लेना। पठान: अपना दवाई अपने पास रखो, ऐसे तो हमारे घर के सारे चम्मच ही खत्म हो जायेंगे। Quotes Science says the first word on everything, and the last word on nothing. The heaviest penalty for deciding to engage in politics is to be ruled by someone inferior to yourself. Children aren't colouring books. You don't get to fill them with your favourite colours.

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