| SantaBanta Universal Humour for February 28, 2014 Posted: 27 Feb 2014 10:30 AM PST Nasruddin had a leaky ferry-boat, and used it to row people across the river. One day his passenger was a fussy schoolteacher, and on the way across he decided to give Nasruddin a test and see how much he knew.
"Tell me, Nasruddin, what are eight sixes?"
"I've no idea"
"How do you spell magnificence?"
"I don't"
"Didn't you study anything at school?"
"No."
"In that case, half your life is lost."
Just then a fierce storm blew up, and the boat began to sink.
"Tell me, schoolteacher," said Nasruddin. "Did you ever learn to swim?"
"No."
"In that case, your whole life is lost." | | एक घर में 4 बहनें थी।
एक का नाम था टूटेली,
दूसरी का नाम था फटेली,
तीसरी का नाम था सड़ेली,
चौथी का नाम था मरेली।
एक दिन उनके घर पर मेहमान आए।
मम्मी ने, पूछा: आप उपर कुर्सी पर बैठेंगे या नीचे चटाई पर?
मेहमान: कुर्सी पर।
मम्मी: टूटेली! कुर्सी लेकर आओ।
मेहमान: नहीं - नहीं ठीक है, हम चटाई पर ही बैठ जाएँगे।
मम्मी: फटेली! चटाई लेकर आओ।
मेहमान: रहने दीजिए हम ज़मीन पर ही बैठ जाएँगे।
(मेहमान ज़मीन पर बैठ गये।)
मम्मी: आप चाय पीएँगे या दूध?
मेहमान: चाय।
मम्मी: सड़ेली! चाय लेकर आओ।
मेहमान: नहीं - नहीं, हम दूध ही पी लेंगे।
मम्मी: मरेली! गाय का दूध लेके आओ।
मेहमान कन्फ्यूज़ हो गया और घर से बाहर भाग गया! | | | | | | When you're following your energy and doing what you want all the time, the distinction between work and play dissolves. | | | | | | | A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy. | | | | | | | He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying. | | | | | Jeevan Mein 3 Baatein Kissi Ko Kabhi Nahi Batani Chahiyein:
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1.
2.
3.
Kissiko Bhi Nahi - Matlab Hi Nahi Banata!
Aapko Bhi Nahi! |  | | | Santa: To improve my digestion I drink beer;
For loss of appetite I drink white wine;
For low blood pressure I drink red wine;
When I have cold, I drink whiskey.
Banta: And when do you drink water.
Santa: Thank god, I have never had such a serious illness! | | | | Yaar, Zuckerberg, if you are still into acquiring internet services that people spend enormous time on, may I suggest IRCTC! | | | | पप्पू अपनी क्लास टीचर से बोला: मैडम, मैं आपको कैसा लगता हूँ?
मैडम: वैरी स्वीट (very sweet)!
यह सुनकर पप्पू अपने दोस्त से बोला, "देखा, मैंने कहा था ना, चालू है, लाइन मारती है!" | | | | संता बंता के घर खाना खा रहा था।
बंता: यार तुम्हारा कुत्ता मुझे काफी देर से घूर रहा है?
संता: जल्दी से खाना खा लो, वरना काट भी लेगा, क्योंकि तुम खाना उसी के बर्तन में खा रहे हो! | | | | मैं तो पहले ही कह रहा था ये WhatsApp और Facebook मिले हुए हैं। | | | | Rest in reason; move in passion. | | | | When you're following your energy and doing what you want all the time, the distinction between work and play dissolves. | | | | A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy. | | | |
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