SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for June 11, 2014 Posted: 10 Jun 2014 11:30 AM PDT What Causes Depression? What Causes Depression? Men vs Women Reasons for Depression in Men Business Slow Chal raha hai... Payment Time pe nahin aa rahi hai.. Telephone/Light ka bill bharna hai... Gharwali ko Anniversary pe Gold leke dena hai... Family ki baaki demands bhi poori karni hai.... Reasons for Depression in Women Tailor se dress mangwana hai... TV pe jo Loreal ki nayi Lipstick dikhayi hai, Aaj sham Market mein Uski enquiry karni hai... Kitty friends ko apni nayi Fossil watch dikhani hai... Mall mein 50% Off Sale lagi hui hai, shopping ko jana hai... Bachcho ka Open Day hai....Uffff koi dress he nahin samajh mein aa rahi hai... Nanad se phone pe baat karni hai... Tupperware wali ko aaj ghar pe bulana hai... Bete ki result aaya hai(46%), kaamwali bai ke liye ek kilo mix mithai mangani hai... Aaj na jaane Pankhudi ka kya hoga... Raat ko baahar se kya mangaoon khane ke liye... Ye mobile ki battery bhi jaldi jaldi down ho jaati hai, main kisi se zyada baat bhi nahin karti... Yeh Landline ka bill 2560/kyun aaya hoga? Ye Deepika/Alia/Kareena/Katrina itni over acting kyun karti hain? Kal mandir kya pehen ke jaoongi? Profile Pic. change kiye 15 minute ho gaye hain.... abhi tak ek bhi like ya comment kyun nahi aaya hai. Presence of Mind Check your presence of mind. Take the test. Relax, clear your mind and begin, what's the 1st answer that comes to your mind??? Question 1. What do you put in a toaster? Answer: Bread. If you said Toast, give up now and do something else... Try not to hurt yourself. If you said bread, go to Question 2. Question 2. Say 'Silk' five times. Now spell 'Silk.' What do cows drink? Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'Milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself by reading more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said 'Water,' proceed to question 3... Question 3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from? Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'Green Bricks,' why the hell are you still reading these??? If you said 'Glass,' go on to Question 4. Question 4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane crashes from 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into East and West Germany) Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, 'No man's land'??? Answer: You don't bury survivors!!! If you said ANYTHING else, you must stop. If you said, 'You don't bury survivors,' proceed to the next question. Question 5. Please don't use a calculator - You are driving a bus from Mumbai to Pune. In Mumbai , 17 people get on, in Pune, 16 get off. Name the driver. Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!! More Jokes .. रॉंग नंबर एक बार एक आदमी का तबादला दूसरे शहर में हो गया तो वह अपना कार्यभार संभालने शहर पहुँच गया। वहां पहुँच कर उसने देखा कि उसे कंपनी ने रहने के लिए एक फ्लैट भी दे दिया है। यह देख उसने तुरंत अपनी पत्नी को इसके बारे में सूचना देने के इरादे से अपने मोबाइल पे मैसेज लिखा, परन्तु गलती से उसे गलत नंबर पर भेज दिया। जिस औरत को वह मैसेज मिला वह अपने पति का अंतिम संस्कार करके लौट रही थी। मैसेज पढ़ते ही वह औरत बेहोश हो गयी और उसे अस्पताल में भर्ती कराना पड़ा क्योंकि मैसेज में लिखा था: प्रिय, मैं सही-सलामत पहुंच गया हूं और यहां रहने के लिए अच्छी जगह भी मिल गई है। तुम बिलकुल चिंता मत करना बस 2-4 दिन में ही तुमको भी बुला लूंगा। तुम्हारा पति! More Hindi Jokes .. Picture SMS Boy: Why don't you have a boyfriend? Girl: I am not allowed to have a boyfriend, but why don't you have a girlfriend ? Boy: Because you are not allowed to have a boyfriend yet. So I am just waiting for you! Every time my phone rings, I breathe in slowly and pray that it's you... Calling to say - I miss you! This is a secret message send only for you, try to solve what it means: Listen - tl + mad - sen + ice - cead + success + yes - cue + out - tescs. More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS When you are restless at all times; When you feel angry and irritated; When you feel lazy and lethargic; When you lose interest in everything; When there's no brightness in your life... . . . . . . . Stupid, it doesn't mean that there's no electricity. It simply means you badly need a vacation! Mujhe Neend Na Aaye, Teri Yaad Sataye... Teri Yaad Aa Rahi Hai, Teri Yaad Aa Rahi Hai... Yaad Teri Aayegi Mujhko Bada Satayegi... Yaadein Yaad Aati Hain Baatein Bhool Jaati Hain... . . . . . Yeh Songs Mujhko Buhut Achhe Lagte Hein! Boy: Why don't you have a boyfriend? Girl: I am not allowed to have a boyfriend, but why don't you have a girlfriend ? Boy: Because you are not allowed to have a boyfriend yet. So I am just waiting for you! Hindi SMS गधों की रेस 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 अबे भाग, मैसेज बाद में पढ़ लेना। जीतो ने डॉक्टर को फ़ोन किया! जीतो: डॉक्टर साहब मेरे पति को करंट लग गया है, मैं क्या करूँ? डॉक्टर: अरे वाह! आप भगवान का शुक्रिया अदा करो! जीतो: वोह क्यों? डॉक्टर: अरे क्योंकि आपके यहाँ बिजली है, इसलिए। लड़का: मैं तुम्हारे लिए कुछ भी कर सकता हूँ। लड़की: वादा? लड़का: हाँ पक्का वादा। लड़की: तो ठीक है आज के बाद मुझे कभी भी अपनी शक्ल मत दिखाना। Quotes If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops. Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice.

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