SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes


SantaBanta Universal Humour for May 27, 2014

Posted: 26 May 2014 11:30 AM PDT

Falling on Deaf Ears!

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives.

One signs to the other, "Boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop!"

The other Buddy says, "When my wife goes off on me I just don't listen."

"How do you do that?" says the other.

"It's easy! I turn off the light!"

Confused Pappu!

During Exam...
Madam: Why are you so confused..?

Pappu: *Silent*

Madam: Did you forget your pen...?

Pappu: *Silent*

Madam: Forgot roll no...?

Pappu: *Silent*

Madam: Forgot calculator..?

Pappu: Oye chup kar ja maata..!! Yaha parchi galat subject ki le aya, tujhe pen, pencil ki agg lagi hai..!!!

आलसीपन की हद!

संता और बंता एक रोज आलस के मारे एक कमरे में लेटे हुए थे।

बंता: यार जरा बाहर जाकर तो देख, बारिश हो रही है क्या?

संता: हाँ, बारिश हो रही है।

बंता: बिना देखे ही तू कैसे कह सकता है?

संता: अभी-अभी जो बिल्ली अंदर आई थी वो भीगी हुई थी, इसका मतलब बारिश हो रही है।

थोड़ी देर बाद बंता फिर बोला, "जरा बत्ती तो बुझा दे यार, मुझे रौशनी में नींद नहीं आती।"

संता: आंखें बंद कर लो अपने-आप अंधेरा हो जायेगा।

बंता झल्लाकर बोला, "कम से कम दरवाजा तो बंद कर ले।"

संता: अब दो काम मैंने कर दिए, एक-आध काम तू खुद भी कर ले।

Picture SMS

Santa: Crime figures show that your car is most likely to be stolen when it's parked outside your house.<br />  Banta: Yeah, I know. But mine would never be stolen.<br />  Santa: Why?<br />  Banta: I park it outside my neighbour's house!

Santa: Crime figures show that your car is most likely to be stolen when it's parked outside your house.
Banta: Yeah, I know. But mine would never be stolen.
Santa: Why?
Banta: I park it outside my neighbour's house!

Pappu: I used to see this girl who lived across the road.<br />  Bunty: So what happened now?<br />  Pappu: Now, she keeps her curtains drawn!

Pappu: I used to see this girl who lived across the road.
Bunty: So what happened now?
Pappu: Now, she keeps her curtains drawn!

Advice by Modi to Kejriwal:<br />  Never resign from the job till you get a new one!

Advice by Modi to Kejriwal:
Never resign from the job till you get a new one!

Clean SMS

Santa: Crime figures show that your car is most likely to be stolen when it's parked outside your house.
Banta: Yeah, I know. But mine would never be stolen.
Santa: Why?
Banta: I park it outside my neighbour's house!

Ek Kamaal Dekhiye:
Sirf 'U' Lagaiye Aur Khud Ban Jaiye...
.
.
.
M_RKH
B_DH_
D_FFER
_LL_
LALL_
GHOCH_
Dekha, everything is incomplete without U!

Pappu: I used to see this girl who lived across the road.
Bunty: So what happened now?
Pappu: Now, she keeps her curtains drawn!

Hindi SMS

बडी उम्र में विवाह कर रहे नेताजी से उनके एक परिचित ने पूछा: आप इतनी लेट शादी क्यों कर रहें हैं?
नेताजी ने बड़ी गम्भीरता से कहा: यह मेरा मध्यावधि चुनाव है, मेरा पहला विवाह भंग हो गया था।

ग्राहक ने वेटर से पूछा: तुम्हे कैसे पता चला कि मैं इस होटल में पहली बार आया हूं?
वेटर: क्योंकि जो एक बार यहां का खाना खाकर जाता है, दुबारा नही आता।

चोर (बन्दूक तनते हुए संता से): ज़िंदगी चाहते हो तो अपना पर्स मेरे हवाले कर दो।
संता: यह लो।
चोर: कितने मुर्ख हो तुम, मेरी बंदुक मे तो गोली ही नही थी। हा..हा...हा।
संता: और मेरे पर्स में भी कहां रुपये थे। हो..हो..हो..।

Quotes

Unless I'm at a wedding, I don't like veiled threats.

It is said that only a fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise man from the mistakes of others.

The next time you have a thought... let it go.

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