SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for June 23, 2014 Posted: 22 Jun 2014 11:30 AM PDT Twitterati bombards Humshakals After 'Humshakals' debacle, Sajid Khan becomes butt of jokes! Sajid Khan struck again with yet another dud movie that promised to be better than his previous flop- 'Himmatwala'. Tweeples spare none when it comes to taking a jibe. After Alok Nath, Alia Bhatt, Tiger Shroff, it was time for Sajid Khan to face the witty wrath of people on social media. Here's what people had to say: Deleted scene of Humshakals: In beginning Sajid khan narrated the story of movie to Saif and Riteish, both became mad and Sajid recorded it. In a country where Humshakals is a HIT... we deserve directors like Sajid Khan... no rights to thrash him. When will Sajid Khan release the DVD of Humshakal? I want to burn it. Fact: Sajid Khan is still alive because he never watches movies directed by him. Bad decisions are when Sajid khan decides to make a new movie. Bad decisions are when you book tickets for a Sajid khan movie. What acting is to Himmesh Reshamiya, filmmaking is to Sajid Khan. Disaster! It is getting difficult to convince foreigners that India remains a poor country after they see people continue to fund Sajid Khan movies. Everytime we run out of topics to joke about, Sajid Khan comes up with a film. Modi Government announced Rs 2 Lakhs relief fund for every viewer of Humshakals- Sources All Sajid Khan movies are Humshakals of each other. 'Humshakals' should come with a statutory warning: Sajid Khan movies are injurious to your brain! IRAQ govt. decides to beam Humshakals on giant screens across the country so that the ISIS flee in disgust. A nation that helps Humshakals earn 25 cr in 2 days complains of a rise in train fare. CID ko laash ki pocket se Humshakals ki ticket mili. ACP: Case clear hai, it's a suicide. Gabbar: Kitne aadmi the? Kaaliya: Dimag mat kharab kar, abi humshakals dekh ke aa raha hun. Gabbar: Ok bhai sorry. Humshakals has received an overwhelming response in China. Sajid Khan made Himmatwala before Humshakals because he wanted to find the people brave enough to be interested in his next torture. Censor Board asks Sajid Khan to keep a gap of 5 years between his films to allow recovery from earlier ones. Sajid Khan is actually promoting anti piracy by making such movies. Public verdict after watching Himmatwala: This is the worst film we have ever seen. Sajid Khan accepted the challenge and makes Humshakals. BREAKING: Govt has decided to station 2 ambulances outside every multiplex screening. If you watch Humshakals, you seriously need to rethink about meaning of your existence. People watching Humshakals and tweeting their disappointment with the movie is like slapping yourself and then crying for it. Whenever you feel like you need talent to be successful in life, just remember Humshakals made 25 crores in 2 days. More Jokes .. खेल-खेल में! एक दिन एक आदमी जब गोल्फ खेल कर वापस घर आया तो उसकी बीवी ने उसे पूछा, "तुम आज कल अपने दोस्त रमेश के साथ नहीं खेलते?" आदमी: क्या तुम ऐसे इंसान के साथ खेलोगी जो हमेशा Cheating करता हो? जो बॉल गुम होने के बाद अपनी जेब में से दूसरी बॉल निकाल कर कहे कि मुझे बॉल मिल गयी है? क्या तुम खेलोगी? बीवी: नहीं बिल्कुल नहीं। आदमी: इसीलिए रमेश भी नहीं खेलता। More Hindi Jokes .. Picture SMS A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it! Your message is an electrical activity to my heart. Your missed call is a missed beat of my heart. Your call is blood circulation of my heart. And when you don' call me, it's a heart attack. So please keep my Heart active happy and healthy at all times! TRUST is like a Sticker. Once it is removed, it may stick again; But it's hold is not as Strong when it was first applied! More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS Santa to the shopkeeper: Give me one litre Wheat Flour. Shopkeeper: Wheat flour is not sold in litre. Ask for it again. Santa: Ok. Please give me one KG Wheat Flour in this bottle. Shopkeeper: You don't ask like this? Ok. You pose as a shopkeeper and let me buy wheat flour from you. Santa: OK! Shopkeeper: Give me one KG Wheat Flour. Santa: Have you brought the bottle? Preity Zinta launching a tea brand "PREE-TEA" which will fiercely compete with "NESS-CAFE" Take your pick - Tea or Coffee! A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it! Hindi SMS टीचर: एक और एक कितने होते हैं? पप्पू: दो। टीचर: तीन करने हो तो? पप्पू: विवाह कर दो। टीचर: ग्यारह करने हो तो? पप्पू: निकाह कर दो। पप्पू: पापा, आप इंजीनियर कैसे बने? संता: उसके लिए बहुत दिमाग की जरुरत पड़ती है। पप्पू: इसीलिए तो पूछ रहा हूँ क्योंकि मुझे समझ नहीं आ रहा है कि आप कैसे इंजीनियर बने? रात में बिजली न आने पर ज्यादा शोर न करें और सरकार को न कोसें। अच्छे दिनों का वादा हुआ था अच्छी रातों का नहीं। Quotes The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score. Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience. You'll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile.

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