SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for July 9, 2014 Posted: 08 Jul 2014 11:30 AM PDT Driving Under the Influence One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. As soon as he pulled onto the street, the officer stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy." More Jokes .. विज्ञापनों का सच! टीवी के विज्ञापनों को देखकर कुछ निष्कर्ष निकाले गए हैं। जो आपके रूबरू हैं। 1. घोटालों से परेशान ना हों, Tata की चाय पीयें, इससे देश बदल जाएगा। 2. पानी की जगह Coca Cola और Pepsi पीयें और प्यास बुझायें। 3. Lifebuoy और Dettol 99.9% कीटाणु मारते है पर 0.1 % पुनः प्रजनन के लिए छोड़ ही देते हैं। 4. अगर आप Sprite पीते हैं तो लड़की पटाना आपके बाये हाथ का खेल है। 5. Saif Ali Khan और Kareena Kapoor ने शादी एक दुसरे के सिर का Dandruff देख कर की है। 6. किसी के Toothpaste में नमक है या नहीं, यह पूछने के लिए आप किसी के भी घर का बाथरूम तोड़ सकते हैं। 7. Mountain Dew पीकर पहाड़ से कूद जाइये, कुछ नहीं होगा। 8. Cadbury Dairy Milk Silk Chocolate खाएं कम और मुंह पर ज्यादा लगायें। 9. Happident चबाइए और बिजली का कनेक्शन कटवा लीजिये। 10. फल मंडी से ज्यादा फल आपके Shampoo में होते हैं। 11. अगर आपने घर में Asian Paint किया है तो आप दुनिया के सबसे Intelligent इंसान हैं। 12. अगर आपका बच्चा Bournvita नहीं पीता तो वो मंद बुद्धि माना जा सकता है। More Hindi Jokes .. Picture SMS FIFA World Cup 2104: By losing from Germany 7-1, Brazil faced the worst drubbing ever in WC history. Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself. The difference between life and the movies is that a script has to make sense, and life doesn't. More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS Pehle Shirt Utaari Uske Baad Pant Utaari Aur Fir Banyan Utaari . . . . . . Saala, Garmi Fir Bhi Buhut Lag Rahi Hai! Santa: My wife believes in the adage - there are two sides to every question. Banta: Hmmm... I am listening. Santa: They are - her side and the wrong side! Pappu to Bunty: I often pause and wonder at fate's peculiar ways. Bunty: Wonder what? Pappu: For nearly all famous men were born on holidays! Hindi SMS जब से तुम्हें देखा है, मेरा रात को दिन को सुबह को शाम को खेलते वक़्त सोते वक़्त जागते वक़्त . . . . हँस-हँस के बुरा हाल है। इतना खूबसूरत कैसे मुस्कुरा लेते हो; इतना कातिल कैसे शर्मा लेते हो; एक बात बताओ दोस्त, . . . . . . . . . बचपन से ही कमीने हो या सूरत ही ऐसी बना लेते हो? संता: बेटा मैंने एक नया नंबर लिया है, तुम भी नोट कर लो। पप्पू: जी मैंने मोबाइल में नोट किया हुआ है। संता: अच्छा किस नाम से? पप्पू: पापा नंबर 2। Trivia Miroslav Klose became the only player to appear in 4 consecutive semi-finals when Germans beat France 1-0 at FIFA World Cup 2014. German Miroslav Klose beats Ronaldo's record of most goals in FIFA World Cup by scoring 16th goal against his team, Brazil in the semi-final at FIFA World Cup 2014 at Brazil. FIFA World Cup 2104: By losing from Germany 7-1, Brazil faced the worst drubbing ever in WC history. Quotes Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself. The difference between life and the movies is that a script has to make sense, and life doesn't. Leaders aren't born, they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that's the price we'll have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal.

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