SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes


SantaBanta Universal Humour for October 14, 2016

Posted: 13 Oct 2016 11:30 AM PDT

Mission Accomplished!!!

Mission Accomplished!!!
World Peace at last!

Dirty Magazines!

An army major called his wife to tell her that he would be late home because dirty magazines had been found in the barracks and the soldiers responsible were facing serious disciplinary action.

"The punishment sounds a little harsh," she said.
"After all, most of the soldiers have pictures of women on the walls of their quarters."

"No Honey..." the major explained patiently, "Dirty magazines means the clips from their rifles had not been cleaned properly!"

गलत नंबर!

एक बार एक कामकाजी महिला की पदोन्नति के बाद उसका एक बड़े शहर में तबादला हो गया तो वह अपना कार्यभार संभालने उस महानगर में पहुँच गयी।

वहां पहुँच कर उसने देखा कि उसे कंपनी ने रहने के लिए एक फ्लैट भी दे दिया है, यह देख उसने तुरंत अपने पत्नी को इसके बारे में सूचना देने के इरादे से अपने मोबाइल पे SMS लिखा, परन्तु गलती से उसे गलत नंबर पर भेज दिया।

जिस आदमी को वह SMS मिला वह अपनी पत्नी का अंतिम संस्कार करके लौट रहा था, SMS पढ़ते ही वह आदमी बेहोश हो गया और उसे अस्पताल में भर्ती कराना पड़ा क्योंकि SMS में लिखा था:

प्रियतम,
मैं सही-सलामत पहुंच गई हूं और यहां रहने के लिए अच्छी जगह भी मिल गई है, आप बिलकुल चिंता मत करना बस 1-2 दिन में ही आपको भी बुला लूंगी।

आपकी प्यारी पत्नी!

Picture SMS

Marriage is give and take.<br/>  You'd better give it to her or she will take it anyway!

Marriage is give and take.
You'd better give it to her or she will take it anyway!

If your wife says she will make you the happiest man in the world, do tell her...<br/>  You will miss her!

If your wife says she will make you the happiest man in the world, do tell her...
You will miss her!

There are naturally attractive people and then there are people like you who take pictures from good angles with the right lighting!

There are naturally attractive people and then there are people like you who take pictures from good angles with the right lighting!

Clean SMS

Marriage is give and take.
You'd better give it to her or she will take it anyway!

If your wife says she will make you the happiest man in the world, do tell her...
You will miss her!

There are naturally attractive people and then there are people like you who take pictures from good angles with the right lighting!

Hindi SMS

विवाहित पुरुषों के लिए सुझाव:
अगर आप अपने धन को दोगुना करना चाहते हैं तो 1000 रुपये सुबह अपनी पत्नी को दें और शाम को हिसाब माँग कर देखें, हिसाब 2000 का मिल जाएगा।

मकान मालिक संता से, "लाओ किराया निकालो।"
संता: कैसा कमरा है सारी रात चूहे डांस करते हैं?
मालिक: नहीं तो 600 रुपये में क्या सनी लियोन नाचेगी?

दीवाली के Rocket को देखकर यह एहसास हुआ कि अगर जीवन में ऊँचाइयों तक पहुँचना है तो,
बोतल का सहारा तो लेना पड़ेगा।

Quotes

Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.

Magic happens when you don't give up even though you want to. The universe always falls in love with a stubborn heart.

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