SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes


SantaBanta Universal Humour for October 6, 2016

Posted: 05 Oct 2016 11:30 AM PDT

That's Square Root

That's Square Root
Much cooler than in Algebra...

The Whistler

One day in a well known university, a senior professor started his class on a very serious topic. The moment he turned towards the blackboard, one of the students whistled. He turned, looked at the class and asked the whistler's name..... As usual and as expected no one answered.

The professor peacefully kept the pen in his pocket and picked up his bag. Saying that, the lecture ends here and that was enough for the day, he started moving towards the gate of the class. Students were overjoyed to be free.

Then, he suddenly stopped and turned towards the class, kept his bag on the table and said, "I'll tell you a story to utilise the remaining time."

Everyone became interested.

Yesterday night I tried hard to sleep, but it was miles away from my eyes, so I thought I'd better get petrol in my car, which will save my time next morning and might induce sleep. After having my tank full, I started roaming in that area, enjoying the peace of a traffic free ride.

Suddenly, on the corner I saw a girl who was as young and beautiful as the clothes she was wearing. Must have been returning from a party. Out of courtesy, I turned my car towards her and asked if I may be of any help. She asked me if I could drop her to her home, she'll be very obliged, to which I agreed.

(Who would deny a beautiful young company instead of a dry non sleepy need :) :) )

She sat in the front seat with me. We started talking, and to my amazement she was very intelligent, had control on many topics which many youngsters don't. When we reached her address, she admitted my courteous nature and behavior and accepted that she had fallen in love with me.

I also admitted her intelligence and beauty and that I've also started liking her. I told her about my job as a professor in the university.

The girl asked my number, which I gave her willingly. Then she asked me a favor, to which i couldn't have denied naturally.

She said that her brother is a student in the same university, and asked me to take care of him, since we'll be in a long relationship now.

I asked the name of the student.She said that I'll recognise him with one of his very prominent quality.

He whistles a lot.

The moment the professor said this, all eyes in the classroom turned towards the boy who had whistled.

The professor turned to that boy and said, "Young man I didn't get my Ph. D by sitting on my ass. "

बिल्ली की जिद!

संता के घर एक बिल्ली रहती थी जिससे वह बहुत परेशान था, एक दिन संता उस से तंग आकर उसे जंगल में छोड़ आता है, परन्तु संता के घर पहुंचने से पहले वह बिल्ली घर लौट आती है!

यह देख संता दुबारा उस बिल्ली को और दूर जंगल में छोड़ आता है, पर फिर वैसा ही होता है और वह बिल्ली फिर वापस घर पहुँच जाती है यह देख संता को बहुत गुस्सा आता है, तो वह इस बार बिल्ली को अपनी गाडी में डाल कर और घने जंगल में ले जा कर छोड़ देता है, और कुछ देर बाद अपनी पत्नी को फ़ोन करता है और पूछता है;

संता: क्या बिल्ली घर आ गई है?

जीतो: हां, वह फिर पहुंच गई है!

संता: ठीक है तो उसे कहो मुझे आकर ले जाए, मैं रास्ता भूल गया हूं!

Picture SMS

आज का ज्ञान:<br/>  शराबी और साँप कितने मर्ज़ी टेढ़े-मेढ़े चलें, अपने घर में वो सीधे ही घुसते हैं।

आज का ज्ञान:
शराबी और साँप कितने मर्ज़ी टेढ़े-मेढ़े चलें, अपने घर में वो सीधे ही घुसते हैं।

पाकिस्तान वाले भी कितने भी पागल हैं, लड़ने को तैयार रहते हैं।<br/>  इनको कौन समझाये कि, जितनी तुम्हारी आबादी है उतने लोग तो हमारे यहाँ JIO SIM के चक्कर में खड़े रहते हैं।

पाकिस्तान वाले भी कितने भी पागल हैं, लड़ने को तैयार रहते हैं।
इनको कौन समझाये कि, जितनी तुम्हारी आबादी है उतने लोग तो हमारे यहाँ JIO SIM के चक्कर में खड़े रहते हैं।

बचपन में हम पड़ोस के किसी बच्चे को घूसा मार देते थे तो, अक्सर वो रोते हुए कहता था,<br/>  'मुझे लगी नीं, मुझे लगे नीं।'<br/>  वो ही हाल आज पाकिस्तान के हैं।

बचपन में हम पड़ोस के किसी बच्चे को घूसा मार देते थे तो, अक्सर वो रोते हुए कहता था,
"मुझे लगी नीं, मुझे लगे नीं।"
वो ही हाल आज पाकिस्तान के हैं।

Clean SMS

Men enter politics solely as a result of being unhappily married!

3 things you never get back:
A word after it's said
Time after it's passed
Your pen

A bachelor is a man who comes to work each morning from a different direction!

Hindi SMS

आज का ज्ञान:
शराबी और साँप कितने मर्ज़ी टेढ़े-मेढ़े चलें, अपने घर में वो सीधे ही घुसते हैं।

पाकिस्तान वाले भी कितने भी पागल हैं, लड़ने को तैयार रहते हैं।
इनको कौन समझाये कि, जितनी तुम्हारी आबादी है उतने लोग तो हमारे यहाँ JIO SIM के चक्कर में खड़े रहते हैं।

बचपन में हम पड़ोस के किसी बच्चे को घूसा मार देते थे तो, अक्सर वो रोते हुए कहता था,
"मुझे लगी नीं, मुझे लगे नीं।"
वो ही हाल आज पाकिस्तान के हैं।

Quotes

The goal is to die with memories not dreams.

Don't let people know too much about you.

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