| SantaBanta Universal Humour for October 4, 2016 Posted: 03 Oct 2016 11:30 AM PDT | | | Who ever gets first call from his wife will pay the bill. | | | | | |  | | | | Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time.
Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies. One day the boss called him into the office for a talk.
"Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job when you finally get here; but your being late so often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."
"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear."
"Yes sir, I understand your concern and Ill try harder."
Seeming puzzled, the manager went on to comment, "It's odd though your coming in late. I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say to you there if you showed up in the morning so late and so often?"
The old man looked down at the floor, then smiled. He chuckled quietly, then said with a grin, "They usually saluted and said, Good morning, Admiral, can I get your coffee, sir?" | | गली से एक भिखारी गुज़र रहा था, एक घर का दरवाज़ा खुला था और अंदर एक बुढ़िया बैठी थी। उसे देख भिखारी बोला, "खाने के लिए रोटी दे दो, अम्मा।"
बुढ़िया: रोटी तो अभी बनी नहीं है, बाद में आना।
भिखारी: ठीक है ये लो मेरा मोबाइल नंबर जब बन जाये तो मिस कॉल मार देना।
ये सुन बुढ़िया के होश उड़ गए पर वो कहाँ कम थी बोली, "मिस कॉल क्या करनी, जब बन जाएगी तो WhatsApp पे डाल दूंगी। वहीँ से डाउनलोड करके खा लेना।"
ये सुनकर भिखारी बेहोश हो गया। | | | | | | सोचो अगर WhatsApp में "Last Seen" की जगह, "Last Seen With" का ऑप्शन हो जाये तो, ना जाने कितने लोगों का बेडा गर्क हो जाये। | | | | | | | Boyfriend: तुम रो क्यों रही हो?
Girlfriend: मैंने अपने फोन को "Airplane Mode" पे किया लेकिन फिर भी ये उड़ नहीं रहा। | | | | | | | Bank वाले अपने लंच को लेकर इतना स्ट्रिक्ट रहते हैं, कि अगर विजय माल्या 7000Cr. चुकाने लंच टाइम पर आ जाए, तो उससे भी कह देंगे, "लंच के बाद आना"। | | | | | An Indian wife is very jealous and possessive - she'll never let any woman other than herself destroy her husband's life! | | | | I think Tuesdays are worse than Mondays.
You can't use "It's Monday" as an excuse! | | | | Someone should make a food app that connects to your bank account and only lists restaurants you can afford! | | | | सोचो अगर WhatsApp में "Last Seen" की जगह, "Last Seen With" का ऑप्शन हो जाये तो, ना जाने कितने लोगों का बेडा गर्क हो जाये। | | | | Boyfriend: तुम रो क्यों रही हो?
Girlfriend: मैंने अपने फोन को "Airplane Mode" पे किया लेकिन फिर भी ये उड़ नहीं रहा। | | | | Bank वाले अपने लंच को लेकर इतना स्ट्रिक्ट रहते हैं, कि अगर विजय माल्या 7000Cr. चुकाने लंच टाइम पर आ जाए, तो उससे भी कह देंगे, "लंच के बाद आना"। | | | | Never measure the height of a mountain, until you have reached the top. Then you will see how low it was. | | | | Don't limit your challenges, challenge your limits. | | | |
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