| SantaBanta Universal Humour for October 7, 2016 Posted: 06 Oct 2016 11:30 AM PDT | | | Ravan in tension before Dussehra. | | | | | |  | | | | A Corps Commander was once visiting an Artillery Regiment of the Corps Arty Bde. A week before D-day, the CO held a special Sainik Sammelan and told everyone that the General was fond of asking questions, but he would ask only such questions to which he already knew the answers. So nobody should bluff. If they didn't have irrefutable and authentic proof of the correctness of the answer, they were not to give such an answer. They should just say: 'I don't know', and that's it; but they were not to attempt a Tukka.
The Corps Cdr came, he was introduced to the unit officers & JCOs, he was briefed in the Ops Room, and then he was taken to see the gun positions.
The Gun Det-cdr ordered the det to attention and gave a report to the Corps Cdr, "Numbe 3 Gun Det Aap Ke Inspection Ke Liye Ready Hai Sir." The General ordered everyone at ease, and seeing that the Det-cdr was Santa, switched to Punjabi mode, "Janaab, Ki Naam Hai Tuhadda."
The JCO silently thanked God for this question, for which he did have an authentic and irrefutable answer. It was written on his I-card! He said, "Sir Ji, Mera Naam Subedar Santa Hai."
General: "Aa Kedi gun Haigi?"
The JCO again thanked his God as the name of the gun was engraved on the gun!! He promptly replied, :Sir Ji, Ye 130 mm Medium Gun Haigi... " or whatever the gun was.
General, "Ek Gal Dasso Mainu Santa Ji... Main Suneya Hai Ki Is Gun Da Gola 20 Km Dur Jaanda Hai... Ki Eh Gall Sahi Hai?
Santa silently cursed his stars. He knew the answer, but where the Hell was he to get authentic and irrefutable proof from? And at the same time, it was below his dignity to say that he didn't know. So he just kept quiet.
The General repeated his question.
So Santa hesitantly and tentatively said, "Haan Ji Sir Ji... Gall Toh Tuhaddi Theek Hai. Suneya Taan Asi Vi Hai Ke Gola 20 Km Jaanda Hai.... Per Asi Kadi Naal Ni Gaye...." | | एक युवक ने बार के अन्दर घुसने पर एक सुन्दर युवती को देखा एक घण्टे की कोशिश के बाद आखिर उसने हिम्मत जुटायी और उसके पास जाकर धीरे से बोला अगर आप बुरा न मानें तो क्या मैं आपके साथ थोड़ी देर बातें कर सकता हूं!
वह युवती जोर से चीखी नहीं मैं तुम्हारे साथ सोने वाली नहीं हूं!
बार में सभी लोग उसकी तरफ देखने लगे घबराकर लड़का चुपचाप आकर अपनी जगह आकर बैठ गया! कुछ मिनटों बाद युवती उसके पास चल कर आयी और माफी मांगी फिर उसकी ओर देखकर मुरकरायी और बोली मैं माफी चाहती हूं मैंने आपको परेशान कर दिया असल में मैं मनोविज्ञान की छात्रा हूं, और आजकल मैं यह अध्ययन कर रही हूं कि ऐसी परिस्थितियों में लोगों की प्रतिक्रिया क्या होती है?
इतना सुनने पर लड़का अपनी पूरी ताकत से चिल्लाया 500 रू मैं तो क्या तुम्हें 200 भी नहीं दूंगा! | | | | | | आज का सत्य:
लड़कों की आधी ज़िन्दगी सुन्दर लड़की ढूंढने में, और बाकी की आधी उसे पडोसी से बचाने में निकल जाती है। | | | | | | | Dear Wife,
Thanks for never listening to me so I can always claim I told you something! | | | | | | | After First Date:
Boy: I really had a great time, I'd love to see you again.
Girl: Yeah sure, we should do this again sometime but with other people! | | | | | Dear Wife,
Thanks for never listening to me so I can always claim I told you something! | | | | After First Date:
Boy: I really had a great time, I'd love to see you again.
Girl: Yeah sure, we should do this again sometime but with other people! | | | | Girl - are you a prescription from a doctor 'cause you might be good for me but I can't read you at all! | | | | आज का सत्य:
लड़कों की आधी ज़िन्दगी सुन्दर लड़की ढूंढने में, और बाकी की आधी उसे पडोसी से बचाने में निकल जाती है। | | | | क्या आपको पता है कि शादी में जूता चुराने की रस्म क्यों ज़रूरी होती है?
क्योंकि कहीं ऐन वक़्त पर दूल्हा भागने की कोशिश ना करे। | | | | हद हो गई अफवाह फ़ैलाने की।
ये अफवाह कौन फैला रहा है कि हाशिम आमला के पिता का नाम डाबर आमला और उसकी माँ का नाम शांति आमला है। | | | | My whole life is about winning. I don't lose often. I almost never lose. | | | | Freedom is not an achievement but an opportunity. | | | |
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