SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes


SantaBanta Universal Humour for December 2, 2016

Posted: 01 Dec 2016 10:30 AM PST

Perfect Description!

Perfect Description!

Severe Punishment!

A man got a parrot which could already talk. It had belonged to a sailor and had a big vocabulary. However, the man soon discovered that the parrot mostly knows bad words. At first, he thought it was funny, but then it became tiresome, and finally, when the man had important guests, the bird's bad words embarrassed him very much.

As soon as the guests left, the man angrily shouted at the parrot, "That language must stop!". But the bird answered him with curses. He shook the bird and shouted again, "Don't use those ugly words!" Again the bird cursed him.

Now the man was really angry. He grabbed the parrot and threw him into the refrigerator. But it had no effect. From inside the refrigerator,the parrot was still swearing. He opened the door and took him out, and again the bird spoke in dirty words and curses. This time, the man opened the door of the freezer , threw the bird into it, and closed the door.

This time there was silence. After two minutes, the man opened the door and removed the very cold parrot. Slowly the shivering parrot walked up the man's arm, sat on his shoulder and spoke into his ear, sounding very frightened, "I'll be good, I promise...Those chickens in there... what did they say?"

तीन सवाल!

एक बार एक लड़के ने एक बुजुर्ग से पूछा, "बाबा, जब एक दिन दुनिया से जाना है तो फिर लोग पैसे के पीछे क्यों भागते हैं?"

"जब जमीन जायदाद जेवर यहीं रह जाते हैं तो लोग इनको अपनी जिंदगी क्यों बनाते हैं?"

"जब रिश्ते निभाने की बारी आती है तो दोस्त ही दुश्मनी क्यों निभाते हैं?"

बुजुर्ग ने गौर से तीनों सवाल सुने। फिर उसने माचिस की डिब्बी से तीन तीलियां निकालीं। दो तीलियां उसने फेंक दीं और एक तीली को आधा तोड़कर उसका ऊपर वाला भाग फेंक दिया। उसके बाद नीचे वाले भाग को नुकीला बनाकर अपना दांत कुरेदते हुए बोला,

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"चल भाग यहाँ से, मुंझे नहीं पता।"

Picture SMS

जो कहते थे कि हमारी सात पुशतें बैठे-बैठे खा सकती हैं,<br/>  उनकी तीन पुशतें बैंक की लइन में खड़ी हैं।

जो कहते थे कि हमारी सात पुशतें बैठे-बैठे खा सकती हैं,
उनकी तीन पुशतें बैंक की लइन में खड़ी हैं।

लड़की: HDFC गये बाबा,<br/>  Axis गई माँ;<br/>  अकेली हूँ घर मा,<br/>  तू आजा बाल्मा।<br/>  लड़का: हम खुद भी लगा हूँ SBI की लाइन मा, कैसे आयें गोरी हम तोहरे घर मा।

लड़की: HDFC गये बाबा,
Axis गई माँ;
अकेली हूँ घर मा,
तू आजा बाल्मा।
लड़का: हम खुद भी लगा हूँ SBI की लाइन मा, कैसे आयें गोरी हम तोहरे घर मा।

While people are worried about depositing more than 2.50 lakhs in their accounts.<br/>  I am receiving notifications from my bank to maintain the minimum balance!

While people are worried about depositing more than 2.50 lakhs in their accounts.
I am receiving notifications from my bank to maintain the minimum balance!

Clean SMS

While people are worried about depositing more than 2.50 lakhs in their accounts.
I am receiving notifications from my bank to maintain the minimum balance!

I don't know how am I supposed to lose weight when the best part of life is food!

Have you ever thought that fire trucks are actually water trucks!

Hindi SMS

जो कहते थे कि हमारी सात पुशतें बैठे-बैठे खा सकती हैं,
उनकी तीन पुशतें बैंक की लइन में खड़ी हैं।

लड़की: HDFC गये बाबा,
Axis गई माँ;
अकेली हूँ घर मा,
तू आजा बाल्मा।
लड़का: हम खुद भी लगा हूँ SBI की लाइन मा, कैसे आयें गोरी हम तोहरे घर मा।

मेरे पिता जी का तो कोई ऐसा दोस्त भी नहीं जो अमरीश पुरी की तरह ये कह दे,
"चल इस दोस्ती को रिश्तेदारी में बदल दें।"

Quotes

Educating the mind without educating the heart, is no education at all.

Don't bend, don't water it down, don't try to make it logical, don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.

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