SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes


SantaBanta Universal Humour for December 8, 2016

Posted: 07 Dec 2016 10:30 AM PST

Study The Table

Study The Table

Can't Find It...

A little boy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So he raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked him to be quick.

Five minutes later he returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed.

"I can't find it," he admitted.

The teacher sat him down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now.

The boy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and goes on his way.

Five minutes later he returned to the class room and says to the teacher, "I can't find it."

Frustrated, the teacher asked Jon, a boy who has been at the school for awhile, to help him find the bathroom. So two fellas go together and five minutes later they both return and sit down at their seats.

The teacher asks Jon, "Well, did you find it?"

Jon is quick with his reply, "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards."

मोदी की चाय!

आज पूरा देश मोदी जी कि चाय पी रहा है हालांकि किसी ने मोदी जी को चाय बेचते नहीं देखा पर वो ऐसे बेचते होंगे...

मोदी: भाइयो-बहनो...बोलो चाय चाहिए की नहीं चाहिए?
ग्राहक: हाँ भाई एक बना दो।

मोदी: और जोर से बोलिये चाहिए की नहीं चाहिए?
ग्राहक: हाँ-हाँ भाई चाहिए।

मोदी: बोलो भाइयो बहनो चाय के लिए पतीला गैस पर रखना चाहिए या नहीं रखना चाहिए?
ग्राहक: हाँ-हाँ भाई रख दो।

मोदी: मेरे साथ बोलिये मित्रो पतीले में पानी डालना चाहिए या नहीं डालना चाहिए?
ग्राहक: हाँ भाई डाल दो।

मोदी: पीछे वाले बोलिये पतीले में दूध डालना चाहिए या नहीं डालना चाहिए?
ग्राहक: अरे यार... डाल दो भाई।

मोदी: मेरे साथ बोलिये इसमें चाय पत्ती और अदरक डालना चाहिए या नहीं डालना चाहिए?
ग्राहक: अरे यार तुम करो यार जल्दी।

थोड़ी देर के बाद:
ग्राहक: भाई बन गई चाय?
मोदी: मित्रो... मुझे माफ़ कर दो। मैं गैस जलाना भूल गया था।

Picture SMS

The Prime Minister said,<br/>  'Go Cashless'...<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  Only ATMs have taken it seriously!

The Prime Minister said,
"Go Cashless"...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Only ATMs have taken it seriously!

My goal for 2017 is to accomplish the goals of 2016 which I should have done in 2015 because I made a promise in 2014 and planned in 2013!

My goal for 2017 is to accomplish the goals of 2016 which I should have done in 2015 because I made a promise in 2014 and planned in 2013!

Boy: Tell me something about yourself.<br/>  Girl: I am a mystery.<br/>  Boy: Oh Wow, Mere Ghar Par Bhi Plaster Kar Do!

Boy: Tell me something about yourself.
Girl: I am a mystery.
Boy: Oh Wow, Mere Ghar Par Bhi Plaster Kar Do!

Clean SMS

The Prime Minister said,
"Go Cashless"...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Only ATMs have taken it seriously!

My goal for 2017 is to accomplish the goals of 2016 which I should have done in 2015 because I made a promise in 2014 and planned in 2013!

Boy: Tell me something about yourself.
Girl: I am a mystery.
Boy: Oh Wow, Mere Ghar Par Bhi Plaster Kar Do!

Hindi SMS

दो बातें हमेशा याद रखना,
एक मुश्किल से घबराना नहीं और दूसरा सर्दियों मे नहाना नहीं।

ऐसी विदाई कभी नही देखी
दूल्हा-दुल्हन मंडप में रो रहे हैं,
जनता कतार में रो रही है,
दुकानदार दुकान में रो रहे हैं,
उपभोक्ता बाजार में रो रहे हैं,
बैंक वाले बैंक में रो रहे हैं,
काले धन वाले छुप कर रो रहे हैं,
पीएम मंच पर रो रहे हैं,
विपक्ष सड़क पर रो रहा है,
पूरा देश भावुक हो गया है।
क्या शानदार विदाई चल रही है 500 और 1000 के नोटों की।

ये तलाक 3 बार कहने के पीछे क्या लॉजिक है?
मौलवी साहब: अमां लॉजिक-वाॅजिक कुछ नहीं है औरतें एक बार में बात सुनती ही कहाँ हैं?

Quotes

When you are evolving to your higher self, the road seems lonely. But you're simply shedding energies that no longer match the frequency of your destiny.

You can spend a lifetime trying to be one with the great spirit Or, simply focus on love and realize you already are.

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