| SantaBanta Universal Humour for December 28, 2016 Posted: 27 Dec 2016 10:30 AM PST | |  | | | | | | | | | | The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited.
As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them. The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself.
He looked at the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?"
The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a pilot!"
The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, "Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!"
The aide hustles the young man off. The general looks at the second young man and asked, "What skills to you bring to the Air Force?"
The young man says, "I chop wood!"
"Son," the general replies, "we don't need wood choppers in the Air Force, what do you know how to do?"
"I chop wood!"
"Young man," huffs the general, "you are not listening to me, we don't need wood choppers, this is the 20th century!"
"Well," the young man says, "you hired my brother!"
"Of course we did," says the general, "he's a pilot!"
The young man rolls his eyes and says, "So what! I have to chop it before he can pile it!" | | एक मदारी सड़क के किनारे ढोल बजाकर बंदर का तमाशा दिखा रहा था।
जैसे जैसे मदारी ढोल बजाता था, बंदर 25 फीट के बांस पर फटाफट चढ़ उतर रहा था।
यह देखकर दो चोरों ने सोचा कि यह बंदर अगर उनके पास हो तो चोरी करने के लिए दरवाजा तोड़ने की जरुरत ही नहीं पड़ेगी। बंदर अंदर जाकर पहले ही चिटखनी खोल देगा।
उन्होंने मदारी से बंदर खरीद लिया। फिर बंदर को ट्रेनिंग दी कि कैसे छत के रास्ते जाकर अंदर से चिटखनी खोलनी है।
सारी तैयारी कर के रात को एक हवेली के पीछे पहुंच गए। बांस को दीवार के सहारे लगाया और दोनों दरवाजे के पास खड़े हो गए।
बंदर ने चार फुट तक चढ़ाई की, फिर वहीं लटककर चोरों की ओर ताकने लगा।
एक चोर यह देख कर दांत पीसते हुए बोला, 'अबे साले अब चढ़ भी जा।'
बंदर गाली सुनते ही नीचे कूदकर आया और बोला, `अबे, चढूंगा तो तब ना, जब तुम ढोल बजाओगे!" | | | | | | If love means never having to say you're sorry, then marriage means always having to say everything twice! | | | | | | | Girl: Do you have any girlfriend?
Boy: No.
Girl: Why?
Boy: Would you like to be my girlfriend?
Girl: I have a boyfriend.
Boy: This is why I have no girlfriend! | | | | | | | Most prayers this week would be:
"Bhagwan 31st Ko Salary Deposit Ho Jaye Bas"! | | | | | If love means never having to say you're sorry, then marriage means always having to say everything twice! | | | | Girl: Do you have any girlfriend?
Boy: No.
Girl: Why?
Boy: Would you like to be my girlfriend?
Girl: I have a boyfriend.
Boy: This is why I have no girlfriend! | | | | Most prayers this week would be:
"Bhagwan 31st Ko Salary Deposit Ho Jaye Bas"! | | | | ज़िंदगी में भले ही एक लड़की ना पटाई हो लेकिन...
आज भी ग़म भरे गाने सुनकर ऐसा लगता है जैसे चार-पाँच, एक साथ छोड़कर चली गयी हों। | | | | मेरे हिसाब से दुनिया में सतर्क इंसान वही है, जो टॉयलेट में बैठने से पहले पानी का नल चला कर देख ले कि,
पानी आ रहा है कि नहीं। | | | | साल के अंत में मेरी हर गलती ये सोच कर माफ़ कर देना दोस्तों...
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कि तुम कौन से शरीफ हो? | | | | Speak from your soul and every heart will understand. | | | | If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur. | | | |
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