SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes


SantaBanta Universal Humour for December 23, 2016

Posted: 22 Dec 2016 10:30 AM PST

Warn A Brother!

Warn A Brother!

The Happiest Day

Harry was finally a groom and was very excited about his upcoming marriage.

He was on his way out of the office when his boss came over to him with an outstretched hand, "Congratulations Harry! I just wanted to tell you I've been married for twenty two years, and I am sure that you will always remember this day with the fondest of memories, as the happiest day of your life."

"But sir", said Harry, a little bit confused, "I'm not getting married until tomorrow!"

"Yeah, I know," said his boss.

X-mas Driving WARNING

A warning to all you drivers at Christmas

A warning to all you drivers, be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas and Police are out there checking on people.

Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing lead to another and I had a few too many cocktails and then went onto the wine. Not a good idea.

Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car at the pub and took a Bus home. Sure enough, I passed a police checkpoint, where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyser tests. Because I was in a Bus they just waved it past.

I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a Bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from....

मेरा दोस्त हीरा है!

छगन को लड़की वाले देखने आये!

छगन थोडा नर्वस हो रहा था इसलिए उसने अपने दोस्त पप्पू को भी बुला लिया था!

लड़की के पिता ने पूछा - `बेटा शराब पीते हो ?`

छगन - `जी नहीं, शराब तो दूर की बात है मैं तो बीड़ी सिगरेट तक नहीं पीता !`

लड़की का बाप - `जुआ बगैरह खेलते हो ?`

छगन - `नहीं, मैंने तो कभी ताश को हाथ तक नहीं लगाया ...`

लड़की का बाप - `बहुत अच्छा बेटा, एक बात और बताओ बस ... किसी लड़की -वडकी से चक्कर तो नहीं है ?`

छगन - `जी नहीं ...! मैंने आज तक किसी लड़की पर बुरी नजर नहीं डाली !`

लड़की का बाप अपने साथ आये आदमी से बोला - `लड़का तो सचमुच बहुत अच्छा है ...! !`

यह सुनते ही छगन का दोस्त पप्पू बोला - `आप सही कह रहे हैं अंकल जी ... एकाध छोटी-मोटी कमी को छोड़ दें तो मेरा दोस्त हीरा है हीरा !`

लड़की का बाप - `कमी ? कैसी कमी बेटा ?`

पप्पू - `कुछ ख़ास नहीं ... बस इसे हर बात में झूठ बोलने की बुरी आदत है !!!`

Picture SMS

Bunty: Which is your favorite fictional character?<br/>  Pappu: Girlfriend!

Bunty: Which is your favorite fictional character?
Pappu: Girlfriend!

Maine Pucha Chaand Se Ki Dekha Hai Kahin Mere Yaar Sa Haseen, Chaand Ne Kaha Chaandani Kee Kasam...<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  Woh Filter Wali DP Hai Bhai!

Maine Pucha Chaand Se Ki Dekha Hai Kahin Mere Yaar Sa Haseen, Chaand Ne Kaha Chaandani Kee Kasam...
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Woh Filter Wali DP Hai Bhai!

Sure, I'll drink more water<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  .<br/>  Provided it's frozen and surrounded by alcohol!

Sure, I'll drink more water
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Provided it's frozen and surrounded by alcohol!

Clean SMS

Bunty: Which is your favorite fictional character?
Pappu: Girlfriend!

Maine Pucha Chaand Se Ki Dekha Hai Kahin Mere Yaar Sa Haseen, Chaand Ne Kaha Chaandani Kee Kasam...
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Woh Filter Wali DP Hai Bhai!

Sure, I'll drink more water
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Provided it's frozen and surrounded by alcohol!

Hindi SMS

कुँवारों की एक बड़ी समस्या है।
जब भी किसी शादी में जाते हैं हर बार किसी न किसी से प्यार हो ही जाता है।

Quotes

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.

Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.

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