SantaBanta Universal Jokes

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SantaBanta Universal Humour for February 5, 2014 Posted: 04 Feb 2014 10:30 AM PST What's WhatsApia ? There's a new illness discovered at the University of Bheja. It's a condition called "WhatsApia". The symptoms are: 1. Having an app called WhatsApp. 2. Constantly checking to see if you have messages. 3. Checking if someone has been online and why they haven't replied to you. 4. Anxiety that you must reply or the other person will feel bad. 5. Expecting comments if you change your profile pic and/or update your status. 6. Pretending to listen to someone, while busy chatting on whatsapp. 7. First thing when you wake up needing your dose of whatsapp. 8. Copying this message and pasting in other groups. The only treatment for it is to dump your smart phone! Career Or Stand! An Officer was rewarded a bicycle by his Commanding Officer for a job well done. It was a beautiful cycle but didn't have a carrier at the back. He requested his Orderly to get it fixed. When the cycle came back with the carrier fitted, he noticed that now the stand is missing. He asked about the missing stand. The Orderly replied, "CO Sahib ke paas gaya toh unhone carrier toh sanction kar diya par stand nikaalne ke liye hukam diya..." Youngster went up to the Old Man and asked for the reason for this order. The CO replied, "Lesson for you, Young man, Fauj Mein Ek Cheez Hi Possible Hai... CAREER Ya STAND... Agar STAND Loge Toh CAREER Khatam Aur Agar CAREER Banana Hai Toh Kabhi... STAND Mat Lena... make your choice." More Jokes .. गलत संगत! एक बार एक शराबी नशे में टुन होकर गिरता पड़ता अपने घर पहुंचा। उसकी यह हालत देख रात में तो पत्नी ने उसे कुछ नहीं कहा परन्तु सुबह होते ही उसकी खबर लेने की ठानी। सुबह होते ही पत्नी अपने पति से बोली। पत्‍‌नी : रात को आप पीके गटर में गिर गए थे। पति : क्या बताऊं, सब गलत संगत का असर है, हम चार दोस्त, एक बोतल और वह तीनों पीते नहीं। More Hindi Jokes .. Picture SMS Preeto: You say your sister makes up jokes; is she a humourist? Jeeto: No, she works in a beauty parlour! Coffee never knew it would taste so nice and sweet... before it met milk and sugar. We are good as individuals but become better when we meet and blend with the right people. Can you be milk and sugar and I - your coffee? Happy Valentine's Day! Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow ye diet. More Picture SMS .. Clean SMS Preeto: You say your sister makes up jokes; is she a humourist? Jeeto: No, she works in a beauty parlour! Sharaab Bani To Maikhane Bane; Husn Bana Toh Deewane Bane; Kuch To Baat Hai Aap Mein; Yu Hi Toh Nahi... . .. ... Pagal Khaane Bane! Buddha had to invent a whole new religion to escape his wife... that's how difficult marriage is! Hindi SMS पप्पू अपने पिता जी से कार के लिए ज़िद्द कर रहा था। संता गुस्से से, "कार का क्या करेगा, भगवान ने दो टाँगे किस लिए दी हैं?" पप्पू: ब्रेक और रेस दबाने के लिए। अध्यापक: हमें किसी चीज़ का दुरुपयोग नहीं करना चाहिए। पप्पू: फिर आप क्यों करते हो? अध्यापक: मैं किस चीज़ का दुरुपयोग करता हूँ? पप्पू: फुट्टे से लाइन खींचनी चाहिए, पर आप सदा इससे हमें पीटते हैं। हर समस्या का हल... . .. ... .... अल्को-हल! Quotes Writing is a piece of cake. Editing is a slab of liver. Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow ye diet. Love is an ocean of emotions, entirely surrounded by expenses.

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