| SantaBanta Universal Humour for February 26, 2014 Posted: 25 Feb 2014 10:30 AM PST Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbour and decided to go to a calm place to share the lot equally. One of them suggested the nearby cemetery.
As they were jumping the big gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn't bother to pick them since they had enough in the bag.
A few minutes later, a drunkard on his way from a bar, passed near the cemetery gate and heard a voice saying, "One for me, one for you, one for me, one for you..."
He immediately sobered up and ran as fast as he could to a church nearby, for the priest, "Father, please come with me. Come and witness God & Satan sharing corpses at the cemetery."
They both ran back to the cemetery gate and the voices continued, "One for me, one for you, one for me, one for you..."
Suddenly, the voice stopped counting & said, "What about the two at the gate?"
The priest almost ran past the church gate...shouting, "We are not dead yet oooohh!!!" | | | |  | | | | Wife to her husband: Suno, aate hue zara kitchen se namak lete aana.
Husband (kitchen se): Yahan to koi Namak nahi hai.
Wife: Mujhe pata tha, tum toh ho hi andhe, kaamchor kahin ke. Ek kaam dhang se nahi kar sakte, bas bahane banaate rehte ho, zindagi mein kuch to kaam karo. Mujhe pehle se hi pata tha ki tumhe nahin milega, isliye mein pehle hi le aayi thi.
Husband shocked! | | पति: आज खाने में क्या बनाओगी?
पत्नी: जो आप कहो।
पति: दाल-चावल बना लो।
पत्नी: अभी कल ही तो खाये थे।
पति: तो छोले-पूरी बना लो।
पत्नी: नहीं वो बहुत भारी खाना हो जाता है।
पति: अच्छा परांठे बना लो।
पत्नी: रात को परांठे कौन खाता है?
पति: तो फिर इडली-सांभर बना लो।
पत्नी: उसमे तो बहुत टाइम लगेगा।
पति: ठीक है मैग्गी ही बना लो।
पत्नी: पर उस से पेट नहीं भरेगा।
पति: तो फिर क्या बनाओगी?
पत्नी: जो आप कहो! | | | | | | Karma, simply put, is an action for an action ... good or bad. | | | | | | | Strange things conspire when one tries to cheat fate. | | | | | | | For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible. | | | | | Shiva is also referred to as Triambaka because of his third eye - the eye of vision. On Mahashivaratri, nature brings this possibility very close to us. While this is possible every day, on Shivratri nature makes it more available to us because the planetary positions are such that the energy, especially in the northern hemisphere, makes it very easy for a person to raise his/her energies upward.
May you be blessed enough to become a Triambaka on this auspicious day!
Happy Mahashivaratri! | | | | On the auspicious occasion of Maha Shivratri - the night of Shiva worship, let's savour 'Thandai' (made from cannabis, almonds, and milk) and sing songs in praise of the Lord Shiva and dance to the rhythm of the drums.
Happy Mahashivaratri! | | | | May Lord Shiva who is also known as Mahadev, Mahesh, Maheshwar, Shankar, Shambhu, Rudra, Har, Trilochan, Devendra and Trilokinath bless you at all times!
Happy Mahashivaratri! | | | | बाबा ने जिस पर भी डाली छाया;
रातो रात उसकी किस्मत की पलट गई काया;
वो सब मिला उसे बिन मांगे ही;
जो कभी किसी ने ना पाया।
शिवरात्रि की हार्दिक शुभकामनाएं! | | | | भोले का परिवार आया आपके द्वार;
लाया आपके जीवन में खुशियों की बौछार;
मेरी तरफ से आप सभी को मुबारक हो महा-शिवरात्री का त्यौहार।
महा-शिवरात्रि की शुभकामनाएं! | | | | फकीर: आपके पड़ोसी ने पेट भर कर खाना खिलाया है, आप भी कुछ खिलाओ।
पप्पू: ये लो हाजमोला। | | | | Karma, simply put, is an action for an action ... good or bad. | | | | Strange things conspire when one tries to cheat fate. | | | | For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible. | | | |
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