SantaBanta Universal Jokes

SantaBanta Universal Jokes


SantaBanta Universal Humour for January 18, 2014

Posted: 17 Jan 2014 10:30 AM PST

The Professor & The Sailor

A professor was travelling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor Deco, "Do you know Biology, Ecology, Epidemology or anthropology?"

"No, said the sailor."

The proffesor got angry with Deco, the sailor, and said, "What the hell do you know on these earth? You will die of illiteracy."

One hour later the boat started sinking.

The sailor Deco, asked the professor, "Do you know swimminology and Escapeology from Sharkology and crocodileology?"

"No," said the professor. The Sailor said, "Well that means crocodileology will eat your assology and you will dieology with your knowledgeology because of your big mouthology."

Well-Educated Wife!

Husband: Wow, Tum itni Gulabi kaise lag rahi ho???

Wife: When your lovely words touch the bundle branches of the circulation system of my heart, it starts beating faster & increased output is trans mitted to adrenals which start secreting glucon to increase blood glucose level & to combatthis emergency, Pituitary output also increases which raises blood estrogen level, Causing vasodilation and I look PINK...

MORAL: Jyada padhi likhi biwi romance ki Mummy-Didi ek kar deti hai...

Picture SMS

The 'pound' (#) key on the keyboard is called an 'octothorp'.

The 'pound' (#) key on the keyboard is called an 'octothorp'.

Girl: It's a shame the way you start making a pass at me after 4 drinks.<br />  Boy: What's shameful about it?<br />  Girl: Why spend so much money on liquor?

Girl: It's a shame the way you start making a pass at me after 4 drinks.
Boy: What's shameful about it?
Girl: Why spend so much money on liquor?

संता बर्फ़ का टुकड़ा उठा कर उसे गौर से देख रहा था।<br/>  बंता: क्या देख रहे हो?<br/>  संता: देख रहा हूँ कि यह लीक कहाँ से हो रहा है!

संता बर्फ़ का टुकड़ा उठा कर उसे गौर से देख रहा था।
बंता: क्या देख रहे हो?
संता: देख रहा हूँ कि यह लीक कहाँ से हो रहा है!

Clean SMS

Girl: It's a shame the way you start making a pass at me after 4 drinks.
Boy: What's shameful about it?
Girl: Why spend so much money on liquor?

In this cruel world, it is very difficult to find friends with a beautiful heart, worldly wisdom, attractive personality and stylish looks. So
.
..
...
....
learn to value me!

First Shashi Tharoor lost External Affairs ministry because of Sunanda.
Now he loses Sunanda because of external affairs!

Hindi SMS

गांधी जी के तीन बिछड़े बन्दरों का पता मिल गया है ।
1. 'राहुल गांधी' (जिस को कुछ दिखता नहीं);
2. 'सोनिया' (जो सुनती नहीं);
और
3. 'मनमोहन' (जो बोलता नहीं)।

पप्पू: पापा घर में मेहमान आए हैं और शरबत बनाने के लिए नींबू नहीं है, अब क्या करूँ?
संता: अबे, डरता क्यों है? नए विम बार में 100 नींबू की शक्ति है, डाल दे 2 बूँद!

संता बर्फ़ का टुकड़ा उठा कर उसे गौर से देख रहा था।
बंता: क्या देख रहे हो?
संता: देख रहा हूँ कि यह लीक कहाँ से हो रहा है!

Trivia

The 'pound' (#) key on the keyboard is called an 'octothorp'.

Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.

Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.

Quotes

We dream to give ourselves hope. To stop dreaming - well, that's like saying you can never change your fate.

Sunday evenings often feel like the weekend is over before it's even begun.

Seeing the family is a very important part of my weekend.

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