| SantaBanta Universal Humour for January 20, 2014 Posted: 19 Jan 2014 10:30 AM PST | |  | | | | It was Sunday morning when Bill, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go nail the first deer of the season.
He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Judy, sitting there, fully decked out in camouflage overalls.
Bill asks her, "Ummm, What are you up to?"
Judy smiles, "I'm going hunting with you!"
Bill, though he had many reservations about this, reluctantly decides to take her along. Two hours later they arrive at a game preserve just outside the city.
Bill sets his overly anxious wife up safely in the deer stand and tells her, "If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I'll come running back as soon as I hear the shot."
Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn't bag an elephant.... much less a deer. Not 15 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears a breakout of gunshots. Quickly, Bill starts running back.
As Bill gets closer to her stand, he hears Judy screaming, "Get away from my damn deer!"
Confused and frightened Bill races faster towards his screaming wife.
And again he hears her scream, "Get away from my fu#&in deer now!" followed by another volley of gunfire!
Now, within sight of where he had left his wife, Bill is surprised to see a Texas cowboy, with his hands high in the air.
The cowboy, obviously distraught, says, "Okay, lady! You can have your fu#&in deer! Just let me get my saddle off it!" | | | | | | | | Ek husband ne apni wife ko ek SMS bheja:
Thanks for making my life wonderful and being a part of my life. What ever I am is only because of you. You are my angel thanks for coming in my life and making it worth living. You're Great.
Uski wife ne reply bheja: Pee li hai na ? Ab chup chap ghar aa jao...
DARO MAT... KUCHH NAHI BOLUNGI..!!!
Husband: Thank you! | | | | | | Everyone hears what you say;
Friends listen to what you say;
Best friends listen to what you don't say.
Thanks for being my Best Friend Forever! | | | | | | | Santa to Bank Manager, "My cheque was returned by your bank with the mark, Insufficient Funds".
Manager: Quite right, Sir!
Santa: I wanna know whether it refers to mine or the Bank's Funds? | | | | | | | I would make a terrible magician... because I can't make my wife disappear. | | | | | Everyone hears what you say;
Friends listen to what you say;
Best friends listen to what you don't say.
Thanks for being my Best Friend Forever! | | | | Santa to Bank Manager, "My cheque was returned by your bank with the mark, Insufficient Funds".
Manager: Quite right, Sir!
Santa: I wanna know whether it refers to mine or the Bank's Funds? | | | | Richa Chadda, Preeti Jhangiani and Diana Penty are relatives
.
..
...
....
by their surnames! | | | | भक्त: बाबा, प्यार करना पड़ता है या हो जाता है?
बाबा: बेटा, अगर लड़की खूबसूरत हो और स्कूटी (Scooty) पे हो तो हो जाता है और अगर लड़की बदसूरत हो और ऑडी (Audi) में हो तो करना पड़ता है। | | | | सोचने वाली बात:
भले ही आज लोग वेस्टर्न कल्चर के पीछे भागते हों पर एक बात जो याद रखनी चाहिए:
सूरज भी जब-जब वेस्ट (पश्चिम) में जाता है, डूब ही जाता है। | | | | मित्रो मेरी काम वाली बाई का कहना है कि झाड़ू कितनी भी अच्छी हो... 6 महीने से ज्यादा नहीं चलती। | | | | Most German schools do not have uniforms because it reminds Germans of the Nazi youth. | | | | Ranch dressing contains titanium dioxide to keep it white. Titanium dioxide is also used in most sunscreens and might be a carcinogen. | | | | Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, John Travolta, Johnny Depp, Leonardo DiCaprio and Harrison Ford have never won Oscars. | | | | When someone follows you all the way to the shop and watches you buy toilet roll, you know your life has changed. | | | | I would make a terrible magician... because I can't make my wife disappear. | | | | I dream of painting and then I paint my dream. | | | |
0 comments:
Post a Comment